Diaries of a MarySue Author
by Sharap'n
Summary: People just don't realise how revolting MarySues are. Will soon be rewritten and reposted.
1. Diaries of the Author

Disclaimer: I do not own any trademark, nor do I own any of those funny little creatures that write Mary-Sues.  
  
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*A bedroom. A swirly purple patterned notebook on a bed opens up to pages of writing, flapping in the breeze. We see the cover snap shut again by a girl with long green fraudulent fingernails. The girl picks up the notebook and puts it on the shelf, going to her laptop to write more of her smashing fiction, "There's a New Girl at Hogwarts." There's a high pitched scream as she opens the file. The purple notebook falls off the shelf, opening at page 1. And so begins the Diaries of a Mary-Sue Author. *  
  
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March 14.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Chloe here. I have just registered at this website, fanfiction.net. It's mega-funkeriffic. Anyway, I should probably write a story for the website. I have already seen some truly smashing ones, but my favourites are the Romance ones. They're so cute. I have heard some people on the site talking about something called a Mary-Sue. Not quite sure what that is, probably nothing important. Oh, I have to go out now. But I'll write when I get back. Promise.  
  
March 23.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I'm sorry, I didn't write before. But I will once I come up with a really smashing storyline. I re-read The Order of the Phoenix today. I swear, it gets better all the time. I wonder if the characters were real, would they be hot? Oh my lordy lordy lord. I've got it. I'll write a story about a girl that goes to Hogwarts. Um . . . a new girl, oh, bum, why is she new? Um . . . she was . . . Oh, I know! She got expelled from her old school! Oh bummer, what for? And what school? Um . . . well, she has to be sassy and sexy and beautiful to make all the boys fall head over heels for her. So . . . she can be expelled for blowing up a turret! Yeah! And . . . she used to go to Fairywings Academy. Oh that's so gorgeous! I'm so excited. I'll start right away. Hang on. Who do I pair her with? But I love Draco AND Harry! Oh, I know, she'll fall for bad-boy Draco, then realise she loves Harry! Duuur! There is no end to my brilliance! She must be RADIANT. Everyone will love her simply because she is RADIANT. Oh crud, what's her name? Something flowy! I know! Summer! Summer Woods. It combines flowy and elegant, with simple and cute! What an amazing combo! There is really no end to my brillo thought processes. I must go write!  
  
March 39.  
  
Oh crap. I just realised there's only 31 days in March.  
  
April 8.  
  
It's awesome. She gets sorted into Slytherin cuz she's a BAD GIRL, who just happens to be simply RADIANT. I wish I were like my Summer Woods. Shiny hair of red with electric blue streaks . . . very thin but not up where the chest area is . . . every boy wants her . . . I wish I wasn't so fat like I am now. I put on 2 kilos in the past week. I must be at least 46 kilos now. Oh god, I've made myself cry. I have to write. Put in something angsty, like her parents dying when she was at a young age or something. I've gotta write. It's the only thing keeping me alive these days. *sigh* whatever.  
  
April 17  
  
I got my first review! I'll write it in here so I remember it forever.  
  
"This is a Mary Sue. Stop writing now."  
  
I bet Mary-Sue means something good. I think the chick must have missed out the 'Don't' in the 'Don't' stop writing now.  
  
April 24  
  
I found out what a Mary Sue is by looking through the Parodies. It's a 'story where the writer projects themselves into Harry Potter-land by creating a new character, sometimes sharing the same or similar name or appearance, or personality.' It is NOT a Mary-Sue. Summer is not I, and I am not Summer. We are two separate people. Hang on, Summer isn't a person. She can be a metamorphmagi! Wicked! Hooray! Oh by the way, Summer is together with Draco.  
  
April 31  
  
I got a review today. It was mean.  
  
"This is a crap, typical Mary-Sue with an old, overused storyline. Stop writing now or I'll get my friends at the Glenorchy Mafia to cut your legs off. I mean it. You'll never be this . . . Autumn Forest or whatever her name is."  
  
I think that's what's classified as a flame.  
  
May 22: (my birthday!) (A/N this is my actual birthday)  
  
I finished my fic! It took a while, but I did it! Summer is with Harry, they all live happily ever after. It makes me happy to know that I made people's lives better for them reading my story. There were one or two, who disliked it, but I said that if I didn't get 5 new reviews I would stop, and you'd be surprised how many people don't read and review romance stories. I ended up keeping on writing anyway. It rules.  
  
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That's it. It's really short. I'll write the actual Mary-Sue for you to point and laugh at. Ok? Stand back for Mary Sue time! 


	2. The Train

This is the Mary Sue that Chloe wrote. Please don't flame me, as THIS IS A SUBTLE PARODY. In other words, it's a parody in which it's not obvious, but just so you see it's a Mary-Sue. Please feel free to point and laugh. * Is for thought.  
  
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A girl with chin length spiky red hair was sitting on top of a pile of grey rubble, giggling like crazy. Upon a closer look, you could see streaks of electric blue in her hair, and he face was covered in dirt. All around her, there were people of her age crawling out from under dirt and rocks, smiles definitely not on their dials. A teacher was walking up to her, severe anger on her face.  
  
"MISS WOODS!" The teacher was standing over her, robes torn in several places. "Would you kindly explain why you have blown up the entire transfiguration turret?"  
  
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"Hey, look at that chick over there . . . I haven't seen her before. She looks too old to be a first year. My god, she is so beautiful I just want to spray some broken glass over this brickwork floor so I can crawl over it to get to her." Lee Jordan was talking to Fred Weasley, but hadn't noticed that Fred had left a while back.  
  
Summer Woods was having trouble getting her three pink glittery suitcases on board the Hogwarts express.  
  
"May I help you?" A voice behind her spoke in a cool voice, dripping with impatience. She turned around, and saw a blonde boy her age looking up at her with crossed arms. She smiled at him and said: "sure, if you're offering . . ."  
  
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She got onto the train and separated from the blonde boy at a compartment near the back of the train. She saw some ferals going right up the back, and yelled out . . .  
  
"BACK SEAT BOGENS!"  
  
Satisfied, she went into the nearest carriage and found six people already in there. A girl with dirty blonde hair, *like Christina Aguilera* she thought. A girl with long red hair *copying me*, a girl with frizzy brown hair *Afro* a boy with messy black hair *Goth material* a boy with red hair, *poss. relative of chick with red hair* and a fat boy. *Fatboy slim . . .* she thought to herself, smiling. She stepped into the cabin and sat down.  
  
"Who are you?" the boy with the red hair asked. "I haven't seen you before".  
  
"I'm new, I'm Summer Woods. Who are you, red headed rat rooter?"  
  
"I'm Ron Weasley, and you have red hair too, so you're a red headed rat rooter." He said, somewhat triumphantly.  
  
"Um, hello? It has blue streaks. Besides, red isn't my natural colour. It doesn't count."  
  
"Right. We've never seen a new girl here before, except for first years." This 'Ron' character said suspiciously.  
  
"I was expelled from my old school? Dur?" She answered coolly.  
  
"What for?" The Christina Aguilera girl asked absently.  
  
"Blowing up half the castle." She said, slightly annoyed. "Not like it's any of your business, I don't even know your name"  
  
"It's Luna Lovegood." The red head girl said. "By the way, I'm Ginny Weasley, This is Hermione Granger and Harry Potter, and that's Neville Longbottom."  
  
But Summer had already left, gone to find some interesting people.  
  
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Albus Dumbledore was making some announcements after the first years were sorted. Summer still hadn't been sorted yet, something she was mightily pissed off about.  
  
"We have a new student here at Hogwarts! Her name is Summer Woods. Please step up to the sorting hat, Miss Woods, so you may be sorted."  
  
Summer walked up to the hat, her natural RADIANCE flowing over everyone in the hall. She stepped up to the stool, and sat on it, after brushing the dust off with a gentle hand. She put on the hat, and to the people that had been in the carriage with her, there was shock as the hat yelled out, clear as the lovely little nose on her face . . . "SLYTHERIN!"  
  
She glided over to the Slytherin table and sat down. She noticed with faint surprise that the blonde boy was in this house too.  
  
"Hey, we meet again!" He said, holding out a hand and smiling. "The name's Draco, by the way. Draco Malfoy."  
  
"Hey. The name's Summer, by the way." She said RADIANTLY, with a joking mock to her voice. "Summer Woods."  
  
*He is gorgeous. Not like me. I am so ugly. How can you bear to look upon my face? * She thought sadly.  
  
*She is so cute. All right, she's slightly less cool looking than I am, but that's still a pretty hard feat to accomplish.* He thought smugly.  
  
"There's food on the plates now, you'll starve if you keep looking at HER like that" said a cold voice, clearly jealous of Summer's absolute RADIANCE.  
  
"Oh, don't be a spoilsport, Pansy. I can eat whenever I like." Draco snapped at Miss Jealousy, who got up abruptly and left, knocking Draco's pumpkin juice onto his robes.  
  
"Wow" was all Draco could say, pumpkin juice seeping through his robes, practically freezing him to death.  
  
"Don't worry about her. I'm sure we'll be awesome friends." Summer stated matter-of-factly, flashing her most RADIANT smile, causing Draco to melt like an ice cube in a volcano.  
  
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Cliffhanger galore! Tune in next time for my next thrilling instalment! If I don't get at least 5 reviews I'll stop writing this! I'm sure no one wants that!  
  
(T/A/N (true author note [as opposed to Chloe's author note]) how Mary-Sue ish! To make this more parody-like, I'll capitalise the words RADIANT, RADIANCE and RADIANTLY. At the end of the fic, if you can tell me how many radian- words I've put in, you'll get three boxes of double choc tim tams! Great for all those tearjerker movies that Mary-Sue writers love. Oh, if u want an awesome movie, get Where The Heart Is. It's my all time fave. It's a bit chick-flick-ish, but oh well. I love it.) 


	3. Shock announcement from Dumbledore

Woohoo! I get more reviews from this than my other stories put together! No way I'll give this up!  
  
Some mentions:  
  
Lady Aura: just doing a civil duty to bring it to people's attentions.  
  
StalkyStar: awesome ideas. I'll prolly use them soon.  
  
The Great Writer: I can't think of fifteen forms of radiant!  
  
Hogwarts Drama Queen: aha! You got the number right, but as you didn't answer in the form of a question, you LOSE!  
  
Ds: again, grate ideas.  
  
PussyKat: ooh this must be fate!  
  
JuicyJuice: I won't tell your secret, but I think everyone who reads my reviews will know.  
  
On with the show!  
  
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(From now on, unless I specify to the contrary, all author notes etc are from the Mary-Sue author.)  
  
Hey my awesome readers! I don't own anything, except Summer, which I share with DAH-LING Draco.  
  
Here we go!  
  
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SLYTHERIN QUIDDITCH TRYOUTS TO BE HELD ON FRIDAY THE 13TH OCTOBER AT 7.PM. THE POSITIONS ARE FOR CHASER AND KEEPER.  
  
Summer and her friend Angel, a cute Slytherin with dark hair, were reading the notice with smiles on their dials.  
  
"You're a really good flier, Summer. You should try out! Friday . . . that's tonight!" Angel said to Summer, who flipped her hair RADIANTLY.  
  
" I dunno . . . "  
  
"Oh, come on! What have you got to lose?"  
  
With that, Summer smiled and went upstairs to get her broom.  
  
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Summer was walking down to the Quidditch pitch with Angel to keep her company. She was holding her new broom, a Silver Starlight 7000.  
  
"Wow, Summer, is that a Silver Starlight 7000?" Draco was gazing in awe at her broom. "That's supposed to be the fastest broom in the world! Even faster than the Firebolt!"  
  
Summer failed miserably to hide her blushing cheeks behind her short hair, and got on her silver broom, ready to fly. The broom was one of her most prized possessions, given to her by her great aunt Celia, who was one of those creepy old spinsters that never married. The broom handle was from a Silverwood tree, which meant that the wood was not the usual brown, but a RADIANT silvery colour. The twigs at the end were silver as well, and they glittered like stars, hence the name Silver Starlight.  
  
"Everyone ready? Ok, let's fly, people!" The captain of the team said. They kicked off from the ground, and did laps around the stadium. Summer's broom easily outstripped the others, and after a few minutes of flying, passing the Quaffle and scoring innumerable goals, she was appointed Chaser for the Slytherin team.  
  
"You're awesome, Summer." Draco, Summer and Angel were having a chat as they walked up to the castle. "The way you scored that goal from thirty feet away, that rocked."  
  
"Thanks. I wonder why they made ME the captain as well as ordinary Chaser?" Summer wondered. She knew she was ok, but not good enough to be made captain then and there.  
  
"Prolly because you rock on a broom, and you're also really gorgeous." Draco said, saying the end part rather tentatively. Angel snorted. "Since when have looks been enough to get captainship?"  
  
"Since Summer tried out . . .," Draco said dreamily.  
  
"Hey, people, there's something I haven't told you." Summer said, apparently not hearing the previous comment. "I'm . . . I'm . . . I'm a metamorphmagus." To demonstrate, she shook her head and her short red hair turned to long black hair with thick blood red streaks.  
  
"But that's excellent! Why did you hide it?" Angel said in SHOCK AND AWE.  
  
"Because all my life I've been brought up thinking it was bad, and wrong. But I guess not" she said, smiling.  
  
"I like this hair better." Draco said, picking up the ends of it. "You'll have a job explaining to everyone at school how your hair changed colour so fast, and grew so fast" He said, laughing.  
  
Then they all linked arms (True author note: linking arms! How stupid!) And walked up to the castle, giggling all the way and Draco carrying Summer's broom for her.  
  
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"OH MY GOD! AAAAAAARGH!"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Summer was looking in the mirror, screaming.  
  
"MY HAIR DOESN'T MATCH MY EYES, OR MY NAILS!"  
  
(True author note: I think my IQ just dropped at least 50 points)  
  
"Shhhhhhhh . . . There there . . . you're a metamorphmagus! You can just change them!  
  
"Oh yeah . . . "  
  
Summer screwed up her face, and her nails changed from pink to deep purple, and her eyes changed from emerald green to deep blue, like the sea at night. (T.A.N: BLERGH! I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK!)  
  
"Oh, that's better." Summer put on her cloak and went down to breakfast, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. "God I missed having my hair up"  
  
As soon as she walked in the door to the great hall, there were murmurs about her hair and eyes. (T.A.N: as if anyone would give a shit!) And she walked quickly to the table, sitting next to Draco. Angel sat next to her, and Summer started to pile Coco Pops into her bowl. Summer wasn't worried about the fat content, as she could eat whatever she wanted and never got fat. (A/N I toooooootally wish I was like that!!!!) (T.A.N: I saw that never getting fat one in an actual fic! If u wanna read it just go to one of the fics [dunno which one] at livejournalDOTcomSLASHcommunitySLASHdeletrius but with all the capital words in the actual forms.) Right when she was about to pour milk into her bowl, Dumbledore stood up.  
  
"Because of the success of the Yule ball, we will be having three more balls in the course of this year. They are open to all grades. One will be at Halloween, one will be at Christmas, and one will be at Easter. They are all fancy dress. (T/A/N: notice how often that comes up?) You do not have to go to them if you go home for the Christmas or Easter breaks. There will be a Hogsmeade weekend tomorrow to buy your costumes. There is a splendiferous shop next to Madam Maulkins, she runs it also, and it is called Madam Maulkin's Costumes for all Circumstances. That will be all."  
  
There was an excited buzz in the hall as to what they were going to wear, and whom they would be inviting. Summer listened to Angel rave on about herself, and a boy by the initials of B.Z, whilst munching on her cereal. Once she had finished, she set her bowl aside and slumped down in her seat.  
  
"What's up? You're the only girl who's depressed now." Angel looked down at her.  
  
"I . . . don't know what I'll wear." She lied.  
  
"Don't worry! There'll be plenty of costumes to choose from. Come on, we need to get to potions. Oh crud, it's with the Gryffindors . . ."  
  
Summer followed Angel to the dungeons, very preoccupied. The real reason she was poorly was because she thought that no boy would come within ten feet of her, let alone ask her to the ball. Little did she know that a big pile of cuteness was waiting for her around the next corner.  
  
"Hi, D." She said, walking into Potions.  
  
"Yeah. Hey, there's been something I wanna ask you . . ." Draco started, but was interrupted by Snape's usual murmur of "settle down . . ." and they quietened as he magicked the instructions on the board. Draco looked horrified with himself, as though he had just done something mortifyingly embarrassing.  
  
"This is a nail growth potion, which the females in this class will most probably be all too eager to try. But this is a rather complex potion, which requires complete tranquillity and calm, or it will not work. Please begin."  
  
Summer worked hard on her potion, but was too tense of thoughts of the ball that she stuffed it up. Though, as Snape passed her cauldron, he said nothing but "good, try to calm yourself a bit more"  
  
"Can anyone tell me why this potion needs sea algae to work?"  
  
* I know the answer. * Summer thought. She put up her hand, and so did Hermione. Snape looked at her, then at Hermione, who was bouncing out of her chair in eagerness, falling on the ground, and said: "Miss Woods?"  
  
"It needs algae because this is magic algae blessed by merpeople, which help nail, bone, and hair growth, while strengthening them as well"  
  
"Good. And how do you get the potion to nails, hair and bones?"  
  
"For nails, you rub it in, for hair, you use it as a conditioner, and you drink it for bones."  
  
"Good. Twenty points to Slytherin. And Miss Granger? Five points off Gryffindor for leaving your seat without permission."  
  
The Slytherins sniggered, and at the end of the lesson, Snape asked if anyone would like to test Hermione's potion on them, and Summer put her hand up, smiling evilly. This was a chance to show her up. She rubbed the potion on her nails, and concentrated on her nails being the same as always. Because of her metamorphmagi skills, her nails didn't grow a millimetre.  
  
"Three points from Gryffindor. I'm sure Summer's potion is much better. Try yours now?" Snape said. Summer smiled even more evilly, even knowing she had screwed hers up. She rubbed it in, and used her metamorphmagi skills to make her nails grow to the far end of the room. Snape half-smiled and dropped two drops of potion from a vial on each of her nails, and they went back to normal. Summer smirked at Hermione and started to clear up the desk. She heard Hermione scowl and mutter something incoherent, but thought nothing of it. As she was leaving the classroom with Angel and Draco, she heard Hermione's voice mutter "Diffindo!"  
  
Her pink shoulder bag ripped, and all her books fell out on the ground. She waved her wand, and they flew back up to her bag, her bag repairing magically. She shot a look of death towards Hermione, and waved her wand at her. Suddenly, Hermione's hair turned into a metre long rainbow Afro.  
  
"Looks less frizzy now, don't you think?" She said, to laughs from the Slytherins. "Don't mess with Summer, or Summer will mess with you ten times worse." And with that, she walked up to Transfiguration.  
  
"Summer?" It was Draco. She went over and walked with him. " Do you wanna go to the Halloween ball with me?"  
  
"I'd love to."  
  
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OMG! They R so totally made 4 each utha! They rock man! And r in LUV so BAD!  
  
(T/A/N: awesome. Review saying what everyone should go to the ball as, but I already know what I'm gonna put them as, so you will be ignored. Keep in mind this is a Halloween ball, and so people must be scary!) 


	4. Like three thousand burritos COUGH COUGH...

(T/A/N: did u know that just because I took a quiz on the Internet I get e- mails every day telling me how to keep YOUNG and RADIANT. I'm 14 for frocks sakes!  
  
Honourable mentions:  
  
Hogwarts-Drama-Queen: yeah, that question thing was a joke, dude. And you have to wait until the end before you tell me the number! And the author notes DO count.  
  
Marla: yeah, I'll have a karaoke night to show off Summer's RADIANT voice.  
  
Silvrei: but she has to be GORGEOUS as well! So she's gonna be a vampire. I was thinking of making Draco a vampire as well, but thought he would look I bit better as a dementor.  
  
Wiccan PussyKat: yeah, that's the fic. A REALLY GOOD MARY SUE IS ARAMINTA MALFOYPOTTER: TAKING HOGWARTS BY STORM.  
  
Read this fic, it's really sad . . . )  
  
Oh and I don't own anything, the songs in this fic are by Stacie Orrico, Amiel, and Shakira.  
  
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"There's the shop there, let's go check it out!"  
  
Angel and Summer were in Hogsmeade, looking for a costume for the Halloween ball. They came across Madam Maulkin's Costumes for all Circumstances, and walked in.  
  
"Hello dears, can I help you with anything?" A squat witch with a friendly face was behind the counter.  
  
"No, just browsing for now, thanks anyway." Summer said, wondering why the shop wasn't filled with customers, as everyone in school would be there. "Why is there no-one else in here?"  
  
"There is a charm on this shop, and you can only see yourself and the person or people you walked in the store with. It helps when you don't want people to know your costume.  
  
"Thank you." Summer said graciously and RADIANTLY. They walked over to the Halloween section of the shop and started flicking through the racks. Angel found a red costume and wondered what it was, then went to try it on. She walked out of the change rooms looking apprehensive. She was wearing a shiny red one-shoulder top and a shiny red skirt with a long red pointed tail that moved at her will. She also had on knee high red shiny boots, and as if they were there all along, two glittery red horns poking out of her head. She also carried a sparkly red pitchfork.  
  
"Look at this! Angel is a Devil! Who would have guessed it." Summer said, smiling at her friend.  
  
"Don't you like it?" Angel said worriedly.  
  
"Yes, of course I do! It looks great on you. Get it, I dare you!" Summer said playfully. The only problem was HER outfit.  
  
Summer flicked through many racks before she found the perfect one. She went into the change room, and Angel gasped when she came back out. She was wearing a black boob tube with a short black skirt and glittering black stilettos, with black fishnet stockings, and had a black cape on with red trim, turned up at the collar. She had long fangs where her canines usually were, and she had a tattoo of a bat on her arm. She also had two red marks on her neck. She was a vampiress.  
  
"Oh Summer you look gorgeous!" Angel was looking at Summer, amazed at how RADIANT she looked.  
  
"Thanks Angel" She said, going back into the change rooms to change back into her normal clothes. They then bought the costumes and headed off to Honeydukes, chatting all the way. They got in there, and noticed that Hermione had not managed to change her hair back to normal, because Summer was quite a powerful witch. Well, that was an understatement, she was the most powerful witch in 100 years. Only her, her parents and Dumbledore knew this, but her parents weren't her real parents. They adopted her when she was a baby, as her mother died and her father was nowhere to be found. No one knew who her father was, except Summer, who had a very strong feeling about it, and her very strong feelings were never wrong.  
  
Angel and Summer walked over to the Sugar Quills shelf, picking up about ten each, for pink Sugar Quills were the only kind they used. They then paid for them and left the shop, not wishing to be seen in the same room as Afro-Chick. They walked around Hogsmeade aimlessly, until Summer asked Angel . . .  
  
"Who's this B.Z. you've been talking about?"  
  
"Him? Oh, no one. Just the guy I'm going to the ball with!" Angel said excitedly.  
  
"Really? That's great! Who is he?"  
  
"That one over there . . ." She said, pointing to Blaise Zabini (A/N WHO IS A DUDE!)  
  
And they went off to Hogwarts together.  
  
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The night of the ball came, and everyone was in his or her dorms, getting ready for the big night. Summer was twirling around in front of a mirror, looking at herself from every angle. She had used her metamorphmagi skills to change her skin from tan to a deathly pale, she changed her hair to poker-straight blood red and floor length, and her eyes had been changed to red, now she was helping Angel change her hair to straight blonde, rather than curly brown. (T/A/N: ARGH my foot just fell asleep and my friend came knocking at my door and so I looked like a ZOMBIE dragging my leg along the ground) They went down to the common room, and Draco was sitting there. He was wearing a long black hooded robe, and had charmed his face so that it couldn't be seen. He was a dementor.  
  
"Oh Draco you're gonna make Potter wet himself!" Angel said happily. Summer, not quite understanding, stood there, not saying anything.  
  
"Let's go down to the hall, or they'll start without us" Draco said, getting up and walking over to the stone wall entrance.  
  
(T/A/N: notice I haven't put in Crabbe and Goyle in this fic? Where did they go?)  
  
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When they got down to the hall, everyone was in scary fancy dress. Angel spotted Blaise and went over to him, while Summer and Draco went to find a table to wait for the music to start. Dumbledore stood up, and everyone went quiet, but laughed slightly, as he was dressed as a pumpkin.  
  
"I hope you will have fun tonight! Before I bring on our musical entertainment, I have the utmost pleasure in announcing that there will be karaoke for an hour or so. May we have the first volunteer please?"  
  
A Ravenclaw girl (dressed as a cat) that Summer didn't know put up her hand, along with a few of her friends.  
  
"Ok, Miss Chang and friends then" Dumbledore said, stepping off the stage. "What song would you like?"  
  
They chose a song and started to sing, with the Cat-girl in front.  
  
"I can't get outta bed today"  
  
"Or get you off my mind . . ." another girl sang. They kept on singing lines each. They weren't great, but they were ok.  
  
"I just can't seem to find a way"  
  
"To leave the love behind!" Then Cat-girl sang.  
  
"I aint trippin'! I'm just missin' you . . . You know what I'm sayin', you know what I mean yeah, Every now and then When I'm all alone I'll be wishin' you would call me on the telephone Say you want me back But you never do I feel like such a fool There's nothing I can do I'm such a fool for you (I know that's not right but I haven't heard this song for ages) It's true I'm stuck on you"  
  
They sang until the end of the song, and everyone applauded. Summer couldn't help noticing that Potter guy (who was dressed as a crazy scientist) kept on looking at cat-girl in a dreamy sort of way. Summer went over to Angel, smiling.  
  
"What do you say we do this?" Summer said, pointing at the stage.  
  
"No, I can't sing. You do it, I've heard you sing and you're great" Angel said. Summer smiled and put her hand up.  
  
"Miss Woods then!" Dumbledore said. "Which song would you like?"  
  
Summer told him the song and got onto the stage. The music started and she did a little twirl, laughing along with Angel, who was right in front of the stage. Then she started to sing, and the whole hall was rapt.  
  
"So I find a reason to shave my legs (what a horrible line!)  
  
Each single morning  
  
So I count on someone Friday nights to take me dancing and then  
  
To church on Sundays (another crappy line)  
  
To plant more dreams  
  
And someday think of kids  
  
Or maybe just to save a little money  
  
You're the one I need  
  
The way back home is always long  
  
But if you're close to me I'm holding on  
  
You're the one I need  
  
My real life has just begun  
  
Cause there's nothing like your smile made of sun . . ."  
  
She kept on singing, her voice was so beautiful yet so . . . haunting. It was like three thousand burritos COUGH COUGH I mean three thousand PHOENIXES all singing the same tune. When the song was over, the people in the hall clapped and cheered and called for more, but she got off the stage, thinking it would be better to let others have a turn. (T/A/N: this was in that Araminta Malfoy-Potter story as well!) She walked over to Angel and Draco and smiled at them.  
  
"You're . . . You're really good, Summer." Draco said, still apparently entranced by her voice.  
  
"Thank you, D." Summer said back to him, flashing a RADIANT smile. "Would you like to take a walk in the grounds?  
  
"Yeah, sure!" He said, and they walked off, Angel somehow not getting offended.  
  
They sat down at the lake, looking into the murky depths. It would have been a bit scary, sitting next to a would-be Dementor, but Summer had never been afraid of Dementors. She knew why. It was because of her father. She had sent an owl to him, because she was feeling very down at Hogwarts, being a metamorphmagi she had never fit in. He hadn't sent an owl back, but since it had only been three days she didn't think much of it. Draco and her were just sitting on the edge of the lake, not saying anything. It was Draco who broke the silence.  
  
"I really like you, Summer." Draco said, looking at the giant squid float about.  
  
"I like you too D" Summer said, wondering why he had said that. She KNEW that he liked her.  
  
"No, I REALLY like you."  
  
Summer was not expecting this. She was rather lost for words.  
  
"I . . . You . . .Really." She said, getting all tongue-tied.  
  
"Sorry. Forget I said anything. I'll be inside." (T/A/N: notice how Miss Sue can reduce the coldest characters to dust and heart-brokenness?) He said, getting up and walking off. It was a few seconds before it registered in her (T/A/N: TINY) brain.  
  
"Draco, wait . . . DRACO! WAIT A SEC!" She yelled, running after him. She took his hand and said to him: "I really like you too, D. Like, REALLY like you. You know?" She said, and they looked into each other's eyes for a moment. (T/A/N Oh my god did I just write that? Has anyone got a gun? For I would very much like to shoot myself right now) Suddenly, Angel ran out to Summer.  
  
"Summer! They loved your singing, and want to hear you again! They won't shut up! You should hear them!" Angel said breathlessly. Summer and Draco followed Angel back into the hall. Summer got up on stage, and told Dumbledore what song she wanted. The music started, and she started to sing.  
  
"You're never boring  
  
You're always changin'  
  
You feel amazing  
  
Take me lead the way  
  
I'm serious  
  
Delirious  
  
So into this just let time slip away  
  
Crazy about you  
  
I'm less without you  
  
What more can I say?  
  
I love you  
  
And everything you do  
  
I need you  
  
Don't ever say we're through  
  
I love you  
  
The sun is shining  
  
The world is smiling  
  
And baby I love you.  
  
Your stupid laugh,  
  
Your salty skin  
  
The heat within  
  
And I can't help-"  
  
But Summer couldn't finish the song, because the doors flew open, and there stood Lord Voldemort. He flew up to the stage, and said to the hall at large: "Sorry, must take this- 'Singing Sensation' away. I'll return her, if you're nice and don't block the door. Thank you peoples." (T/A/N: serious OOC-ness here!) Right before Voldemort picked her up and flew her out the door and into the night, Summer uttered one word.  
  
"Daddy?"  
  
____________________  
  
C? it rawks u no? whel revew me oks or ill stop wrting ths oks?  
  
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T/A/N: heheh. I tried to make the characters as OOC as possible, so there. That's all from me this chapter, c u later! 


	5. The Giant Blender Will Vomit You Up, Sum...

Hey, write to my sister ELIZABETH at tigerpaws85@hotmail.com and tell her that IT IS WRONG to be Miss Sue. She wishes to be one, and so you'd better put her straight before she wreaks havoc upon all of Fandom!  
  
Honourable Mentions:  
  
LJ Fan: I didn't know I had a biggest fan! I didn't even know I had a fan! I feel speshol!  
  
Sorceress Jade: *Flings cabbages* TAKE THAT, BIATCH!  
  
*'s is for thoughts.  
  
This chapter is one where the Mary-Sue author reveals the tiny part of Angst and sadness in her, but she fails miserably, and all that is left is stupidity and would-be angst. We also touch on her many and varied pets. Also, she almost dies. Take it, I said ALMOST. Stop celebrating, you, she won't actually die. * All faces in room fall * Don't worry, she'll die at the end! * Faces light up again * but its saving the world from Voldemort. * Faces fall again, and many people run away to be sick. *All of the characters in this chapter are very out of character. Take it from me, I wrote it. I also ate a burrito. ____________________  
  
Voldemort flew hundreds of miles with Summer, before flying through an open window of a very old house. He set her down and looked at her, smiling. (T/A/N: by smiling, I mean looking disgusted)  
  
"Why did you have to do that in front of the whole school?" Summer said. "Why didn't you get me before I was up on stage, or you could have told them you weren't taking me hostage, you were my father!"  
  
"I put the Imperius charm on your friend - what was her name? Angela? No, Angel. I made her run out and make you come inside. If I had told the people I was your father, you would be pressed for information of my whereabouts. I do not want that. Also, you seemed too busy before you were up on stage, outside?" He said with a friendly smirk on his face.  
  
"YOU WERE WATCHING?" Summer yelled. "THAT IS SO GROSS!"  
  
"Ah . . . I never said I watched you, I merely said that you seemed busy. I saw you walk out with Lucius's son, and thought it best not to walk in on anything."  
  
"Oh, it's a whole lot better, pretending to capture me!" Summer said jokingly.  
  
"You sing well. I heard you for a while before I came in. You sound like a thousand burritos - COUGH COUGH, I mean a thousand Phoenixes." (T/A/N: by phoenixes, I mean burritos.) He said, ignoring the comment previous. "That must be from your mother. I never had much talent for music. But her . . . she would always sing. She was great at it, too. She sounded like a thousand burritos too . . . I mean, phoenixes." (T/A/N: again, I mean burritos.) He turned to the window, looking at the dark sky.  
  
"My mother - who was she?" Voldemort turned back around to face her, his eyes full of the utmost sadness. (T/A/N: OOC!)  
  
"She was a very powerful witch. She was going to work for the good side, but I persuaded her to join me. She had an unfortunate accident with a dragon, and so her blood was never human blood, but dragon blood. That was the source of her power. Her name was Tara Moonfire Callista (T/A/N: how Mary-Sue-ish!) and she died giving birth to you. So I picked you up and left you at the doorstep of two of her friends, well, they were her friends when she wasn't evil. I presumed that even if they didn't want anything to do with her anymore, at least they couldn't turn away a baby."  
  
"Why did you leave me?" Summer said, sixteen years of not knowing coming through. "Did you blame me for her dying?"  
  
"No, I never blamed you. How could I, as you were only newborn? It was my fault that she died. It is a beautiful thing, good and pure, to give birth. But she had taken many dark potions and put so many dark spells on herself that the two sides were literally waging war on each other. Of course, it is not pleasant to have a war inside you, so she died. I only left you at Daniel and Crystal Woods' doorstep because I knew that if you got brought up with me, I would only be able to teach you dark spells, and no school would accept you for your heritage. So then and there I decided that you needed a good upbringing, like I never had. Perhaps if I had been brought up as you had, we would be a proper family. It would be Tom, Tara and Summer, all the way. (T/A/N: could you really imagine Lord Voldemort, the most evil thing in existence, thinking about what could have been if the love of his life hadn't died, and if he was good? Thinking about HAPPY FAMILIES? Bloody hell, the Mary-Sue author is one twisted biatch. [By Mary- sue author, I mean me.]) So I knew that no young girl should have to learn dark magic when she should be playing with her friends. I left you for your own good, Summer. (T/A/N: 'for your own good' here means 'because I hate you') There is not a day in my life that I haven't thought of you, and wondered if I had kept you, what would have happened."  
  
"Well, one thing's for sure" Summer said brightly.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"If I wrote to my other parents telling them about my troubles, they'd tell me to study to get my mind off it. It's great that I have a caring dad that can take me hostage when I'm feeling blue" (T/A/N: by that piece of dialogue, I mean 'I want a burrito') Summer said. For thirty years, all Voldemort could laugh at was hurting people. Now, for the first time, he genuinely laughed. Summer and him stood there aimlessly; just laughing at nothing in particular, until two people came crashing through the window.  
  
"Vell, if eet eesn't my guut frieeeeends Meester Dumbledooooooore unt Meeeeeester Snaaaaaaape" Voldemort said in a fake Mexican accent. (T/A/N: Voldie in Mexican? What is this world coming to, Miss Sue?)  
  
"Stand aside, Miss Woods" (T/A/N: I almost wrote stand aside Mary Sue!) Snape said.  
  
"Yes, it's ok now Summer, we have Voldemort, you can return to Hogwarts safely now." Dumbledore said, his face set. (T/A/N: by safely he means in a metal box, which has been put in a giant blender, been switched on, and pulled by a horse with a rope to Hogwarts, where she will be dropped in the lake and forgotten about.)  
  
"No, no, you don't understand!" Summer said, at a loss for words. "I'm fine, I can go whenever I want! He's not controlling me or anything! It's fine!" She said, thinking they would get it. They didn't.  
  
"Probably the Imperius charm . . ."Dumbledore said, pointing his wand at Voldemort.  
  
"I'm not under the Imperius charm! You don't get it! Can you just LISTEN TO ME?" Summer yelled, but they took no notice of her.  
  
"You give me no choice, Miss Woods." Snape said, while pointing his wand at her, she was lifted off her feet and floated to the other side of the room, kicking and fighting against the magic.  
  
"FINAROS CAPITAROS!" Dumbledore shouted, and a blue orb of light sped towards Voldemort, but Summer had already ran halfway across the room towards Voldemort.  
  
"NO!" she shouted, jumping in front of him. The blue orb hit her square in the chest, before covering her entire body with a blue glow, to add to her general RADIANCE. She looked at where the orb hit her, uttered: "oh!" and fell to the ground.  
  
(T/A/N: you have to wait heaps more chaps before she ACTUALLY dies! Bummer! I need a comfort burrito!)  
  
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There were many rumours surrounding the whole Summer-Voldemort-Dumbledore- Snape thing. The most popular rumour was that when Dumbledore and Snape had come there, Voldemort had Summer tied up on a chair, and had cursed her before apparating out. What really happened after Summer had fallen was Voldemort magicked a stretcher, floated Summer onto it, drawn the glow off her into his wand (which broke) and then apparated. Dumbledore had then turned the stretcher into a Portkey, which then took her to St Mungo's, (T/A/N: by St Mungo's I mean Dumbledore really couldn't give a crap where she went, so he didn't actually know where it would take her) while he and Snape apparated there.  
  
Draco was very depressed, (T/A/N: by depressed I mean ecstatic) as he truly thought Summer was dead, and so soon after he had told her how he felt. Angel was depressed as well, but not like Draco was. They both presumed her dead, and so did most of the school.  
  
"Angel?" Draco said.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can you get me a burrito?"  
  
____________________  
  
Summer was lying in a hospital bed in a single ward at St Mungo's (T/A/N: only by lucky chance did she end up at St Mungo's!) , while Dumbledore and Snape sat beside her on hard-backed chairs.  
  
"She wasn't under the Imperius curse" Dumbledore said. "As you know, I can tell whether someone is acting of their own free will of not. She was."  
  
"But, I thought the only reason you wanted to curse Voldemort was to get Summer back safely . . ." Snape said.  
  
"Well, I will tell you the reason, if you promise not to tell anyone?" Snape nodded. "I have been fighting against Lord Voldemort for longer than you have been teaching at Hogwarts. I had the perfect chance to kill him at the old Riddle house. I wished for him to be dead so much, that I put a students life in danger. I knew she would do anything to protect Voldemort, as he is her father." Snape gaped. (That rhymed! I'm a poet and I didn't know it.) "But I thought there was a chance that she would act as a human shield. I decided to take a leap of faith and perform the spell anyway. It sickens me to think that I put one of my children's life in danger all because of some petty wish."  
  
Snape stared. Dumbledore looked at the ceiling. Summer lay in her bed, wishing that she hadn't spent the last few minutes feigning not to be awake. And deep, deep underground, Voldemort stood, hoping against hope that his only living relative, his only daughter, the last memory of Tara, was not dead - because of his recklessness. (T/A/N: and I sat here, eating a burrito.)  
  
*Oh god. I feel sick. Oh god. * Summer thought. *Oh god. I have to sneeze. * Quickly, she feigned waking up, then sneezed. * How's that for quick thinking? *  
  
"Summer, you're awake. I will alert the Healer in charge." Dumbledore said.  
  
"Wait, Professor . . . " Summer said; "What hit me before?"  
  
Dumbledore hesitated, then walked back to her bed.  
  
"Severus?" Snape looked around. "Could you get a Healer?" Snape nodded, and was almost at the door when Dumbledore said: "Oh, and Severus? Take your time." He said pointedly, and Snape nodded and left the room.  
  
"That was the Energy Shooter Spell, Summer. It is immensely complex. It shoots out an orb of pure energy, coating the person's body with pinpoints of energy, causing them to fall into a coma, and it results in death if the spell isn't lifted. Your father pulled the energy into his wand, which shattered, then he disapparated. Sacrifice of one's own wand shows true devotion, Summer, for if I had performed the charm which could have stopped him from apparating, he would be defenceless."  
  
"How did you know he was my father?" she asked, extremely confused.  
  
"You have the same eyes, you know. Well, his before he changed them, and yours before you realised you were a metamorphmagi. I saw him walking down the street with you, the day your mother died. You turned your head towards me, and I knew then and there that you would not be like he is. (T/A/N: how did Dumbledore know that the baby was Summer?) So here we are, and you may return to Hogwarts once a Healer has checked you out. Would you like a burrito?"  
  
____________________  
  
Summer returned to Hogwarts late that night, but she didn't feel like sleep. So instead she sat on her bed until 4am, thinking about her father. It made sense, she thought, that he would risk his life for her. She risked her life for him only a few seconds previous. *So now we're even* she thought. She stood up, bashing her head on the top of her four-poster bed, and biting her lip to stop herself crying out, she stepped down and changed her belly button ring to one of a pink gem on one end and a black one on the other. She went over to a cage on a shelf and waved her wand at it, and a mouse appeared on it. A deep purple snake snapped over to it, and swallowed it. Summer wrinkled her nose; she loved Dr. Phil, her snake, but hated how he ate live creatures. She walked over to another cage, and waved her wand at it. Three fat beetles appeared in one corner, which her pet spider, Lovebug, immediately crawled over to. She magicked a rat into her owl Callista's cage, then walked over to a tree branch she had charmed to grow into her dorm. She waved her wand and a hand of bananas appeared in a fork of the branch, next to a tiny fuzzy beanbag in another fork, where her black spider monkey, Meatloaf, slept. He woke up, and cooed his thanks, before going back to sleep. She smiled and magicked a huge chunk of raw meat into an even bigger food dish, and called out: "Sushi! Here girl!" A few seconds later a large black panther faded into the room, yawning her growly yawn. Because her father owned Sushi and put spells on her before Summer owned her, Sushi the panther had the ability to fade to invisible and back again. (T/A/N: That's all the pets this Mary-Sue has! Don't worry, other Sues have more strange pets.) Sushi's growl woke Angel up, and she stared at Summer for a while, before almost yelling out . . .  
  
"Summer! You're alive!" Some of the girls stirred, so Summer motioned her to be quiet and follow her downstairs. Once they were in the common room, Summer told her all about what happened.  
  
"But, if you're his daughter, then . . . you must be the heir (T/A/N: I just spelled heir as hair) of Slytherin! You'd better not go spreading that around, you know."  
  
"Yeah, I know. Let's go up and see Draco, I haven't seen him since the ball." Angel hesitated, then followed her up the stairs. Halfway up, she stopped. "Don't you want to come up? I thought you had a thing for that Blaise guy? He'll be up here too, you know." With that, Angel burst into tears and ran back down the stairs, Summer following.  
  
"What's up?" She said, sitting next to Angel on the couch in the common room.  
  
"Well, when . . . ~snif~ you went with your dad . . . ~snif~ He . . . he said that . . . he hoped you'd die, and then I said that . . .~snif~ I didn't like him saying stuff like that about you . . . and then . . . ~snif~ he said that he never liked me anyway, and that he hoped I'D die . . ." She said, crying.  
  
"Oh, Angel . . . shhhhh, it's ok, it's ok. No guy is worth your tears, and when you find one that is, he won't make you cry." She said putting her arm around her. "What say we get a burrito for breakfast today." And they headed down to the hall.  
  
____________________  
  
When Summer entered the hall, she noticed that there were much murmurs of her. To stop herself looking at anyone in particular, she looked up at the ceiling. It was bright blue and sunny today, *Perfect for Quidditch* she thought. *Oh God. We have Quidditch today, with the Gryffindors. * She noticed the Gryffindors looking depressed that she had come back, (they had seen her flatten the Ravenclaws her last match) and she smiled at the thought. She sat down with Draco, who was ecstatic that she wasn't actually dead. (T/A/N: I was ecstatic that she wasn't dead too! No, sorry, I meant to say HORRIFIED.) She told him friendlily to stop asking questions about her, because she was fine, and not actually dead, and told him to eat his burrito before it got cold.  
  
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Summer walked down to the Quidditch pitch, broom in hand, for the match against Gryffindor. She was feeling very sick with apprehension, and wished she'd eaten something else for breakfast, as she didn't want to know how a burrito tasted coming back up. She got changed with her teammates and gave them quite a good (T/A/N: by good I mean shithouse) pep talk. Then they walked out onto the pitch, their faces set.  
  
"Shake hands!" Madam Hooch said. Summer shook hands with the Gryffindor captain rather reluctantly, and the WHOLE TEAM (T/A/N: by the whole team I mean no one) laughed as she looked disgusted and wiped her hand on a beater's robes.  
  
"READY?" Madam Hooch called out. Then, with a blow of her whistle, they were off. Madam Hooch decided she couldn't be fucked umpiring, and went to do some paperwork. (T/A/N: by paperwork I mean she went to eat a burrito)  
  
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Review! 


	6. Summer dumps Draco for trying to escape ...

(T/A/N: hey! I just finished reading Araminta Malfoy Potter: Taking Hogwarts by Storm, and you should read it. Seriously. This chapter focuses on Summer's amazing Quidditch skills, the Christmas ball, and her getting a proverbial "shoulder" to cry on.  
  
Honourable Mentions:  
  
Wiccan PussyKat: ah, my loyal reviewer. : ) : ) : ) love that sausage thing. Yes, YOU HEART WILL BLEED FOR VOLDIE AND SUMMER!  
  
LJ Fan: Yes, I will have MarySue COUGHCOUGH I mean, Summer break a nail, but Harry won't come to her rescue. Harry isn't like that. Harry will NOT BREAK, GOD DAMMIT! Actually, it will be Harry that is drooling over Summer, because That's What Harry Does. Also, Harry Eats Burritos.  
  
Sorceress Jade: Yes, the songs are real.)  
  
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Summer walked down to the Quidditch pitch, broom in hand. She felt sick, and wished she hadn't eaten that burrito for breakfast, as she didn't want to know how it tasted coming back up. She and her team go changed, and on Madam Hooch's whistle, flew up in the air. Lee Jordan as usual was commentating. Summer scored many goals, and pretty soon, the score was 30 - 180. * Just one more * she thought. * Just one more and even if they get the snitch they won't win . . . *  
  
"Now, Slytherin have a new chaser and captain, Summer Woods. Woods is in possession of the Quaffle, which she passes to Warrington, who passes it back -" Summer had the Quaffle again. She saw two Gryffindor chasers and a beater closing in on her, and knew she couldn't get any closer than what she was at, but she still had half a pitch between her and the goals. "- Now three Gryffindors are surrounding Woods, and she's looking for a pass, but no one's free . . ." She looked around for another chaser to pass to, but one was being blocked, and one had just been hit by a bludger, and didn't look like they'd be up to catching a Quaffle anytime soon. She decided that the best thing to do would be to shoot and hope for the best. So she brought her arm back, and shot the Quaffle with all her strength. " . . . And she shoots the Quaffle! Wow, that girl's sure got an arm on her . . . BLOCK IT, WEASLEY!"  
  
There was a great sigh from the Gryffindor end, but a huge cheer from the Slytherin end as Potter, the Gryffindor seeker, caught the snitch a split second after Summer scored. Suddenly, everyone from the Slytherin side was hugging Summer so hard that she thought several of her ribs must have broken. She flew back down to the ground with her team, smiling like crazy. * So this is how it feels to be awesome * she thought, starting to laugh. * I rule! Oh god, I need a burrito . . . *  
  
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There was another Hogsmeade weekend to buy costumes for the Christmas ball. Angel and Summer walked into Madam Maulkin's, looking everywhere for a costume. Summer found hers in an instant, but Angel spent a bit more time choosing. Summer turned out buying a long red spaghetti strap bustier dress with long red gloves, red heels, a white sash and a diamond tiara; she was going to be prom queen. Angel bought a tiny shiny pink boob tube and long pink shiny flares with pink high heel boots, with huge pink hoop earrings; she was going to be Barbie. (T/A/N: OH MY GOD. SOMEONE GIVE ME A GUN. I WOULD SO TOTALLY LIKE TO SHOOT MY LEG AND ALLOW MYSELF TO SLOWLY BLEED TO DEATH.) When they had bought their costumes, they went to Honeydukes and bought pepper imps, their candy of the month. (A/N: sugar quills are so yesterday!) Then they went back to Hogwarts, wishing there were burritos for lunch.  
  
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"Draco!" Summer yelled, running up to walk with him.  
  
"Hey, S." Draco said, smiling at her. "Are we still on for the Christmas ball?"  
  
"Yeah . . . why wouldn't we be?"  
  
"No reason, just wondering!"  
  
"You don't have to wonder about me, D. I really do like you." Summer said, slightly protectively.  
  
"Mmmhmmm . . ."  
  
And so they walked off to Divination together. When they got there, they saw the Gryffindors there also, as they had Divination as well. The large trapdoor opened and the ladder came down. They walked up, and as they sat down, Summer saw Potter lead his friend over to the table next to them. She didn't say anything to Draco though, as Trelawney floated into the room and told the class at large that she perceived a large aura'd person in this room. She floated over to Summer's table, and spoke to her for the first time in the year.  
  
"Miss . . .?"  
  
"Woods, Professor."  
  
"Right, Woods. I perceive that you are not originally of Hogwarts?"  
  
"Er . . .yes. I used to go to FairyWings academy."  
  
"I perceive that you are gifted with a very strong inner eye, Miss Woods. Do not waste this gift, it will serve you well." She said dramatically, so dramatically in fact that Summer had to hide her face behind her hair (now long and blonde with black roots and Shakira curls) to hide her laughter. At this statement of Trelawney's, two Gryffindor girls turned and gave her a look of deepest resentment, so Summer gave them a look right back. (A/N: YoU gO gIrL!)(T/A/N: how retarded!) Summer noticed that Potter guy staring at her, with his friend with the red hair waving his hand across Potter's eyes and looking around to see what had him so interested. He saw Summer, and whispered to Harry something that Summer couldn't hear. Because of her father, Summer had always been good and telling what people were thinking, so she tried it on the red headed boy. * Don't go for her . . . * Summer found the red head guy thinking. *She's from Slytherin . . . she's with Draco . . . she BEAT US as Quidditch . . . * The red headed guy kept thinking up reasons for Potter not to like Summer, but she kept on getting a huge brainwave from red-head guy, one which kind of disturbed her. * Please don't go for her . . . I like her . . .* and she had a feeling this was a brainwave he wasn't telling Potter about. She read Potter's mind, and heard some more interesting stuff. * Woods is gorgeous. Woods is awesome. Woods is a metamorphmagi. Woods is excellent at Quidditch. Woods is perfect. Oh my, I think I'm falling in love with Woods. * Summer jerked back in her seat, shaking her head to stop Potter's thoughts coming into her head anymore. She spent the rest of the lesson crystal gazing, but couldn't help but see Potter's face in the crystal ball, no matter how much she tried to push it away. *picture the burrito.* she thought. *picture the burrito.*  
  
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Christmas morning was rather uneventful. She got clothes and makeup from her parents, and she got some new silver platform shoes from her Aunt Celia, a new bathing suit from her Grandmother Eve, (it was hideous) and from her friends at FairyWings Academy, she got practically the whole Bonne Bell shop. Seriously, she had enough lip gloss to last her until she was twenty-one. She got many other presents from her other relatives as well. She gave Angel her present, a pair of huge hoop earrings encrusted with emeralds, and unwrapped Angel's present to her, a diamond necklace.  
  
"I thought you could wear that to the Christmas ball" Angel said, smiling.  
  
"Wow . . . this is awesome, A!" Summer said happily.  
  
"Thanks . . . yours was too, I can't wait to wear them!"  
  
The rest of the day was spent chatting happily about Christmas and diamonds and emeralds and boys, and then, at 6pm, they went back upstairs to get ready for the ball. Summer changed her hair to medium length, straight and blonde. She used her wand to put it up into a ponytail, twirling it around and pinning it up with some magical hair pins until it was a just a big, messy, shiny ball on her head with bits of hair falling out at strategic intervals. Angel put on her barbie outfit, and Summer helped her charm it platinum blonde and reaching to the centre of her back. (T/A/N: I HATE THESE FROCKING DESCRIPTIONS! DIE, FROCKING DESCRIPTION, DIE!) Summer put on her dress, gloves, tiara and shoes, and Angel put the necklace on her, while putting her pink hoop earrings on. They were just about to head out the door when Summer realised she'd forgotten about earrings.  
  
"Oh god, my earrings!" She said, rummaging around in her jewellery box. She straightened up and put in two huge gold star studs encrusted with rubies, and they ran down to the great hall, Summer holding her dress with both hands to stop her falling down any stairs. The music had started by the time they reached the hall, and Angel and Summer stood at the door, watching all the dancing couples. Draco was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Angel's date, Andrew Nott. (T/A/N: of course, Andrew means Tie A.) So they found a table and sat down, waiting for the song to finish. When it finished, there was only one couple left on the dance floor, and they were snogging like there was no tomorrow. They turned a bit to the left, and Summer saw who it was, with a shock to the region of her belly. It was Pansy Parkinson and Draco, dressed as a fairy and a king. (T/A/N: not necessarily in that order) With a strangled cry of surprise, she shot out of her seat, and wrenched him away from her.  
  
"What the hell is this? A brothel?" Summer shouted, getting stares from most of the hall. Pansy looked angry as well, turning Draco around to face her.  
  
"Just what I'd like to know! You told me you and her were over!" Pansy shrieked, getting the attention of every eye on the hall. The whole room was silent. You could have heard a pin drop, if someone had brought a pin, then dropped it.  
  
"This isn't what it looks like!" He said to Summer. He opened his mouth again but Summer interrupted.  
  
"Oh really? What was it then? She had something caught in her throat and you were getting it out with your tongue?" She yelled, getting murmurs from the crowd of onlookers.  
  
"S, I . . .You were late, and -" Draco started, but Summer interrupted again.  
  
"Yeah, ok! So if I'm five seconds late because I lost my earrings, that gives you permission to go snog anyone you like?" Summer yelled.  
  
"S, I'm sorry!" He yelled, but she had already gone out the door. "Get me a burrito while you're out there?"  
  
____________________  
  
Harry, dressed as an alien, watched Summer, Pansy and Draco have a screaming match, and wondered why a teacher didn't intervene. *probably gone to get popcorn . . . this is better than Jerry Springer . . .* he thought. He saw her run out the door, and made to follow her, but Ron, dressed as a spider, held him back.  
  
"Don't, Harry. She's from Slytherin. You're just gonna get hurt."  
  
"Screw getting hurt, I'm not going to leave her out there alone!" Harry said viciously. Ron put his hands up in defeat, and backed into the crowd, talking to Hermione, who was dressed as a butterfly, and the two of them went to get a ^proverbial^ burrito.  
  
____________________  
  
Summer was sitting at the lake, thinking about the last time she had been there at night. It was with Draco. They liked each other. She was HAPPY. (T/A/N: how can anyone be happy if I'M about to be sick?) Now? Now it was a bit of a different story. Draco wasn't there, they didn't like each other anymore, and she was crying her eyes out. She saw something green with antennae sit next to her, but she didn't turn around. She didn't wipe away her tears, because she knew she looked pretty when she cried. (T/A/N: who the hell looks pretty when the cry? I know I don't.)  
  
"Who is that?" She asked, mainly because she didn't like not knowing who people were, and partly because she wanted to know who was coming out to comfort her. Harry could see she was upset, and even though he really liked her, could plainly see she wanted to be with Malfoy.  
  
"Never mind now. You know, I've known Malfoy longer than you have, and trust me, this isn't the worst he could do. If he really didn't like you he would do something like posting an embarrassing picture of you on a noticeboard, or proclaiming the he's breaking up with you over morning breakfast. He really does like you, even I can see that. He wants to be with you and you want to be with him. You two should be together, because you're perfect together. He does like you, Woods." Harry said, hoping he was doing the right thing by pointing her in Malfoy's direction.  
  
"The name's Summer." Summer said, through her tears. "And I don't want to be with Draco, because it's not about liking or not liking, it's about trust. He broke my trust and I can't be with someone who I can't trust." Harry breathed a silent sigh of relief. *so she DOESN'T want to be with Malfoy. Thank god. But will she like me?* Harry thought self-consciously.  
  
"Do you want to dance, SUMMER?" Harry said tentatively. To his relief, Summer smiled.  
  
"Sure, why not. But on one condition. You tell me who you are." Summer said.  
  
"I'm Harry. Harry Potter." Harry said, hoping Summer wouldn't turn around and say something like 'nup, changed my mind'.  
  
"Ok." She said kissing him on the cheek. Suddenly, there was a tinkle of broken glass, and the sorting hat flew from Dumbledore's office window, down to where the pair sat. it sang a new, short song, and it was obvious it was making it up as it went along.  
  
"Slytherin is not where you belong  
  
as you have changed so must your house  
  
I'll tell you where to go before long,  
  
if you're not a - - - um - - - wood louse."  
  
Summer laughed, picked up the hat and put it on her head. After a few minutes, the hat shouted out "GRYFFINDOR!" The shout was so loud it brought Dumbledore outside, who smiled at her and said: "Ah, Summer, I knew it would be so. Your Slytherin qualities have changed since the start of the year, most probably when you saved your father from the curse, but the events of this evening I expect put a topper on it all." He said, winking. "I will tell the school of your switch to Gryffindor, and I'm sure we can find you a place on the Gryffindor Quidditch team." He said, walking back inside.  
  
"I guess You don't have to hate me, seeing as I'm in Gryffindor now . . ." Summer said, but Harry was already dragging her back inside to dance. "Ok then . . ."  
  
____________________  
  
T/A/N: there you go! She swapped to Gryffindor because I said so. And I just decided she won't die at the end of this, because she's gonna die at the end of a sequel or another thing. Awel! 


	7. BURRITO SHORTAGE! Oh the burritos!

Heheh. This is Chappie no. 7. Due to the number of complaints that Miss Sue would not be dying in this story, I may just decide to kill her sometime.  
  
Honourable mentions:  
  
Goat woman: I love Mary Sues. Don't knock them. Don't bag me either. (Heheh, thanks for reviewing, I hardly get ANY anymore! I only got 4 for chapter 6!)  
  
Silvrei: I don't get it. Call me a Mary-Sue creating bimbo, but I don't see how Woods can be a pun.  
  
Wiccan PussyKat: Those outfits were for the Halloween Ball, the others were for the Christmas ones. I think I may just have her come back to life. Dumbledore is not an evil villain. SO THERE.  
  
JuicyJuice: cyber-burritos! HOORAY! I can give them to Hogwarts!  
  
LJFan: Only one out of three this time, Hermione! Ron and Harry don't have a duel this chapter, I am crap at writing snogging or any other 'intimacy' scenes, (which is good, the thought of Mary-Sue like that is terrible) so I won't be writing them, but there was a burrito shortage! You psychic bitch you!  
  
Oh, and can I just say that in no way does this fiction stop anyone else from writing a Mary Sue. I love Mary Sues, and if you write one, please e- mail me at funkie_chick87@hotmail.com and tell me. I won't flame you, though I may use some lines in my story, but I will reference back to you. Don't worry about a thing, budding Sue writers.  
  
____________________  
  
A week had passed since Summer had moved to Gryffindor, and there was still bitterness about it at the Slytherin table, Angel wasn't being bitter to Summer, but she wasn't talking to her all the same, unless Summer asked a question. Summer had scored a place on the Gryffindor Quidditch team as a Chaser, and also captain. Her first match playing for Gryffindor was against Hufflepuff, and since everyone told her that Hufflepuff were all stupid, she wasn't too worried about it. * Just remember the burrito. * She thought whenever she was nervy. * Does the burrito worry? Does the burrito feel responsibility? No. The burrito sits there on your plate, taking everything as it comes, calm as a taco, or maybe an enchilada. Remember the burrito. *  
  
At breakfast the next day, She sat between Harry and someone she didn't know, but the frizzy-haired girl (she had changed her hair back to normal) kept giving her dark looks, though the red headed boy kept looking at her like he had to keep checking she was actually there.  
  
"Oh, stop it Ron, she's not going to disappear if you take your eyes off her" the frizzy haired girl said irritably, putting jam on her bagel. (What the hell is a bagel anyway?) The redhead called Ron turned scarlet and looked at the burrito on his plate as if it had insulted him.  
  
"Oh, shutup, Hermione, you're just jealous because not everyone's paying attention to you." Ron said, getting a glare from this 'Hermione' character.  
  
"I am so not jealous!"  
  
"Yes you are!"  
  
"No!  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
This carried on for around half an hour; until Summer stood up to get her broom.  
  
"Ah, running away, are we?" Hermione said viciously, through a mouthful of burrito.  
  
"No . . . I was just going to get my broom . . ." Summer said uncertainly.  
  
"Oh . . . right . . ."  
  
____________________  
  
In the Quidditch match, Summer thrashed Hufflepuff 210-40, and Summer felt like she owed all her success to the magic of the burrito.  
  
____________________  
  
Two weeks later, the Gryffindors were winning the Quidditch cup, and with the loss of the greatest Chaser in the school, Slytherin were coming last. This had Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff making snide comments towards the Slytherin table at mealtime. Speaking of mealtime, Summer and Harry were making conversation halfway through their burritos for dinner.  
  
"So . . . that night at the Halloween ball, is Voldemort really your father?" Harry said. Summer nodded, looking down at her burritos. "Wow . . . I would never have taken you for a relative of Voldemort. You look so . . . different."  
  
"I'm a metamorphmagus, Harry. That's how I change my hair and eyes for balls and stuff."  
  
"Oh. I thought you were just putting spells on yourself." Harry said.  
  
"Do you know how damaging spells are on your hair?"  
  
"Obviously not . . ."  
  
Dumbledore stood up. "I have a very serious announcement to make. As you all know, we eat burritos. A lot of burritos. Unfortunately, as we have added burritos to the breakfast menu, there has been a wild burrito-eating frenzy around here. As you know, burrito tortillas are the only foods that we can't conjure up, and that house-elves can't make, and so we must buy them from muggle Mexican foodstuffs stores. But, as I said, we have a frenzy of said burritos. We have run out of said burrito tortillas. And so, said burritos will not be on the proverbial table until a week after said Easter ball." A huge communal sigh went up from the entire hall. Summer, as well as Trelawney and Hagrid, looked horrified. You could feel the general shock-horror in the room. Nobody spoke. Well, nobody spoke until Voldemort appeared next to Dumbledore in a wave of silver dust. He glided over to the Slytherin table, and, upon spotting Angel, raised his wand, shouted "AVADA KEDAVRA!" and disappeared in the same wave of silver dust. Everyone was so shocked. Mainly because of the burrito shortage, but partly because a student had just been murdered by Voldemort. Summer was extremely shocked. *How could my father murder my best friend? Well, I don't even know if we're friends anymore . . . but besides, we're out of burritos! * Oh, the burritos.  
  
____________________  
  
Summer, Harry and Ron were sitting in the common room, talking. (T/A/N: Miss Sue generally replaces Hermione. That's all I'm saying, because I am depressed at said burrito shortage.) Suddenly, the portrait hole opened and McGonnagall walked in. (T/A/N: I don't know how to spell McGonnagall.)  
  
"Miss Woods? Dumbledore would like to see you in his office, please." Summer followed her out of the portrait hole, walking up to the stone gargoyle when McGonnagall turned off at her office.  
  
"Pepper Imps." She said subconsciously, and to her surprise, the Gargoyle jumped aside. She walked up the stairs, and knocked on the Griffin doorknocker. The door swung open and she walked inside.  
  
"You wanted to see me?"  
  
"Yes, Summer, I have been doing some thinking since dinner tonight, what with Voldemort, and I have decided that there is only one way to kill him for good. I thought it impossible, as he had no known relatives. But now you have come to Hogwarts, I feel there is a possibility."  
  
"A possibility for what, sir?"  
  
"There is a potion, Summer, an immensely complex potion, involving blood of said Voldemort or a member of his immediate family. It will destroy him, but these are the details, as well as some theory of the potion. Professor Snape had mentioned what an admirable potions maker you are. I know you are close to Voldemort, but please consider this." Dumbledore said, holding out a roll of parchment.  
  
"I don't know . . . he is my father." She said defiantly.  
  
"Summer? I didn't mention this before, but Voldemort stole our remaining burrito tortillas."  
  
"I'll do it."  
  
____________________  
  
The next few days, Summer was reading up on the potion, stopping only to buy her outfit for the Easter ball, a pastel blue mini skirt (with puffball tail) and t-shirt, complete with bunny ears and a basket of painted eggs, as she was going as the Easter Bunny. (T/A/N: AAAAAAARGH!) She re-read the parchment one last time, making sure she knew everything.  
  
Orlimae Potions  
  
Potion 1: The maker's potion  
  
Cauldron needs to be quarter-filled with water blessed by Merpeople  
  
Ingredients:  
  
Three unicorn tail hairs  
  
Two strands of the potion maker's hair  
  
Six vials of the potion maker's blood  
  
Two white caterpillars  
  
Two peach coloured roses  
  
Two pinches of powdered unicorn horn  
  
Three drops of squid ink (white)  
  
Twenty-three sets of ladybird wings  
  
Method:  
  
Keep in mind that you must concentrate on the person these potions will be used against at all stages of adding ingredients, but not while leaving the potion to simmer.  
  
Bring the cauldron of water to the boil. Add the unicorn tail hairs and powdered horn. Pluck the petals from the roses and put the buds aside. Tear each petal in half and put into the cauldron. Put in ten sets of ladybird wings, and then leave to simmer for a week, a day, and an hour. Chop the caterpillars, and put the pieces into the cauldron, throwing away the heads. Add the rose buds. Add twelve more sets of ladybird wings. Add the white squid ink, stir three times with the left hand, in an anticlockwise direction. Leave to simmer for thirty seconds. Add the last set of ladybird wings.  
  
Potion 2: The victim's potion  
  
Ingredients  
  
Two werewolf teeth  
  
Twelve vials of the potion victim's (or a member of their immediate family's) blood  
  
A centaurs arrow  
  
Three feathers from the neck of a hippogriff  
  
Venom from a cobra  
  
The eye of a fly  
  
Venom from a tarantula  
  
Two vials of unicorn's blood  
  
The tongue of a vampire  
  
Method:  
  
When brewing this potion, concentrate on yourself, as you are the only person that can use any of the two potions, as long as you brew them yourself.  
  
Pour the human and unicorn blood into the cauldron, stirring clockwise with a long silver rod. Put two of the feathers into the cauldron, stirring until they are dissolved. Use the other feather to wave the air above the cauldron, picturing all good in the world leaving the cauldron. Grind the fly's eye along with the head of the centaur's arrow, using a pestle and mortar. Drop the two werewolf teeth at opposite ends of the cauldron, dropping the tongue in the centre. Mix the cobra and spider venom in the bowl used to grind the eye and the arrowhead, stir it with the extra hippogriff feather. As you drop the last feather in with the venom, envision the victim coming to demise.  
  
Summer, this is Dumbledore. What you have to do is brew potion 1, then drink it at least three hours before you need to kill Voldemort. Then, brew potion 2, and dip a dagger into it up to the hilt. Then you must keep it in a silver case, until the time comes to use it. Then, after you have used it, you must keep it in the silver case under your bed for twenty-one days, then you must bury it under the whomping willow. Oh, for the potions, you need to collect all the ingredients yourself, as well as brewing it yourself. I don't think this is a worry, Professor Snape has told me about your gift in Potion making. And the other teachers have told me about your gift in their classes. Strange.  
  
____________________  
  
Summer started looking for the ingredients straight away. She got the ingredients all right, but was stuck when it came to the werewolf teeth and the vampire's tongue. She went up to Dumbledore's office to see him talking seriously to a man Summer didn't know.  
  
"Hello Summer. This is Remus Lupin. Remus, this is Summer Woods, who is brewing the potion. Summer, did you know tonight is the full moon?" Dumbledore said. Summer shook her head.  
  
"What does that have to do with anything, Professor?" Summer asked, looking inquisitive.  
  
"You need werewolf teeth for the potion, Summer. People that have been bitten by werewolves turn into werewolves in the full moon. It would be a perfect night to get the teeth."  
  
"Yeah, I'll just go off to the werewolf store and borrow one . . ."  
  
"No need, Summer. Remus is a werewolf."  
  
Summer gaped for a few seconds.  
  
"But, how, but I have to get the ingredients!"  
  
"Yes, Summer. We have talked about it, and we agree that the best way to get the teeth is to shackle Remus to the floor by his ankles, wrists, and neck. You are to extract the teeth."  
  
"But that's disgusting!" Summer said.  
  
"Summer, Voldemort stole the tortillas. That is what is truly disgusting, how a man could steal the thing that makes a burrito a burrito." Lupin said.  
  
"Ok. I guess some things are unforgivable." Summer said. "But can't we just give him the Wolfsbane potion? Then you wouldn't have to shackle him."  
  
"Summer, if he drinks the potion, he will transform into a wolf, not a werewolf. We need those teeth. If we don't kill Voldemort now, he may just steal all the tortillas in the world."  
  
____________________  
  
That night, Summer steeled herself for what she was going to do. She watched horror movies, to see plenty worse things. But the sad thing was, most really gruesome movies were really old, so the blood just looked like tomato sauce. She walked up to Dumbledore's office, where he had already shackled Lupin to the ground. He put an extra one over his forehead, so he couldn't raise his head to bite anyone.  
  
"Ok Summer. I will transform in a few minutes. Dumbledore will keep my mouth open with these -" He indicated a pair of strange pliers "- and you can take the teeth out with these." He indicated even stranger pliers.  
  
A few minutes later, it happened. Lupin arched his back as his bones snapped and reformed, moulding to the wolf's frame. He bared his (still human) teeth as his fingers shortened and claws pierced his knuckles, coming out to scratch at the wooden floor. His teeth were still bared as they turned long and pointy, and he began sprouting fur. A few seconds later, he was unrecognisable. He opened his eyes, and Summer saw that they were still human-like. Dumbledore sprang forward, and opened the strange pliers in his mouth, keeping it open.  
  
"Sir? Why can't you use magic for that?"  
  
"It is not dark magic. Only dark objects can be used in the second potion, and if I use ordinary magic, it will weaken the potion."  
  
"Ok. Do I have to pull his teeth now?"  
  
"Yes. Get those ones up the front there, the long ones. They will be most powerful."  
  
"But . . . he hasn't had an anaesthetic or anything. It'll really hurt, sir."  
  
"Like I said, it will weaken the potion if I use ordinary magic. Since Remus does not wish to have Dark potions injected into him, he has requested no anaesthetic."  
  
"Oh. My. God. That is so awful. I can't do it, Professor."  
  
"Summer, remember the tortillas!"  
  
Summer remembered. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and closed the pliers over the long front tooth. With a sickening squelch, she pulled. Lupin howled, growled, and tried to snap and bare his teeth, but as his mouth was held open, he could do no such thing. Dumbledore put cotton wool over the gum to stem the blood flow, while Summer dry-retched, facing the wall.  
  
"That's good, Summer. One more, and then that's it."  
  
Summer turned back around, looking sick. She closed the pliers over the other tooth, Lupin, knowing what was coming, tried to bite her, but finding he couldn't, tried to release his paws from the shackles. He failed this too, so he lay still, eyeing the pliers suspiciously. Summer tried to pull the tooth, but it wouldn't come. She pulled harder, but it only gave a little. She covered her mouth, closed her eyes, breathed, and opened them. With a yell, she pulled as hard as she could. It came out about halfway.  
  
"Oh my God . . . Professor, why isn't it working?"  
  
"It is natural for a werewolf which has undergone severe trauma, to bring out it's last defence. It will generally stop the blood flow, the muscle working, and the oxygen intake."  
  
"It kills itself?"  
  
"No, it stays alive, but pretty much stops any further trauma happening to the werewolf. This is why you are finding the tooth hard to pull. Just keep going, and you'll get it."  
  
"Easy for you to say, you're not CAUSING an animal severe trauma!" She said with a raised voice, tearing the tooth away from the gums. She screamed as she saw part of the gum attached to the tooth. Still screaming, she dropped the pliers along with the tooth on the ground, and ran out of the room, but not before Lupin tore one shackle from the ground and gouged a deep scratch on her arm.  
  
"That went well," Dumbledore said, sitting on a chair next to his thrashing friend. "Actually, I'd consider it a success if it weren't for the fact you probably broke many important blood vessels in my students arm."  
  
Lupin looked guilty, or maybe it was just a pained grimace, you never can tell with werewolves, so Dumbledore sat at his desk and ate a burrito, waiting for Lupin to transform back.  
  
____________________  
  
Hermione was going to the bathrooms at about 1am that night. *I knew I shouldn't have eaten so many bean burritos* she thought. But as she walked into the bathroom, she heard the sounds of someone crying and being violently sick at the same time. She was disgusted and was about to find another bathroom, when she noticed it was Summer. She hadn't noticed Hermione's enter of the room, and stopped vomiting, getting up to wipe her mouth on a sheet of toilet paper. She turned around, and Hermione was about to scold her for eating something that would make her that sick, but hesitated at the sight of her blotchy red eyes.  
  
"What? About to tell me off for making too much noise? Well to tell the truth, I'm not in the mood." Summer said croakily, walking to the exit. Her hand was on the door when Hermione spoke.  
  
"Wait, Summer, why were you crying and being sick? You're not . . .?" Hermione asked uncertainly.  
  
"No, I'm not pregnant. If I tell you why, do you promise not to tell anyone? Only it's about a certain person, and if he found out, it would mean that what I just did would have been a total waste."  
  
Hermione nodded, and Summer came over and sat on the cold stone, motioning for Hermione to do the same.  
  
"There is a potion, Hermione. A potion which can kill Voldemort." She said. Hermione gasped, and Summer continued. "As I am the only blood relative of him, I am the only one who can make the potion. Why I was doing . . . What you saw me doing just then, was because I had to pull the teeth of Remus Lupin. He's a werewolf, and we need two werewolf teeth for the potion."  
  
"But, that's ok, I mean, its not like he wouldn't have had an anaesthetic." Hermione said comfortingly.  
  
"That's just it. Dumbledore says that I can only put dark magic in the potion, so we couldn't give him a normal anaesthetic. We could have given him a dark anaesthetic, but he refused to have something dark injected into him. He requested to have it done without anaesthetic."  
  
Hermione was looking as though she would like to be sick as well. She didn't though, she just put her arm around Summer and they sat there for a while, not saying much.  
  
"Summer . . . If there's anything I can do to help . . ."  
  
"Well, I have to do the potions on my own, but I hear you're great with books and intellectual stuff. You could help me read up on it. It's called the Orlimae Potions."  
  
"Summer . . . that's gotta be in the restricted section . . ."  
  
"Don't worry. I'm sure Dumbledore will give us a note."  
  
"Sounds good. Hey, what's say we go get a burrito? Take the taste out of your mouth."  
  
"No burritos, remember?"  
  
"Oh, yeah . . . we could have tacos, or maybe enchiladas."  
  
"Sounds good to me."  
  
And together they went to the kitchens to get tacos, or maybe enchiladas.  
  
____________________  
  
T/A/N:  
  
Whow! Whicked. My longest chapter ever! I'm floorin' it at the 6th page now! I love this fic. Now, see that little blue-purple button? Don't just close the window to return to MSN Hotmail! Click it! Click it! Oh, and leave a review as well. 


	8. Xaeropedo has the hots for a humantype

Well. Well. Well well well well well. What have we here? I really don't know. I really couldn't give a crap. Well. Well. Well. The word well is really starting to lose its meaning. You know? When you say a word so many times in your head it just sounds funny, like its another language? No? Just my Ker-aaaaaazy self then. What has this got to do with Mary Sues, you ask? Not a lot.  
  
This chapter took so long because the word document wouldn't open, then it took me about two weeks to realise that I could click on the Open With button and open it with notepad. So I opened it with notepad and it had all these other things and many strange symbols, and they took forever to delete. So here it is, my brand spanking new fangled sprangley spangley dangley doo-dah diddly chapter.  
  
Honourable mentions:  
  
Sade: I HATE Hermione! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?  
  
Jade and Quoth the Raven: yes, I agree. I've changed that, so I wouldn't lose sleep over it.  
  
This chapter will focus on her ability to charm the most deadly murderous things, such as vampires, with only her bare hands and a face of untouchable beauty. I think I'm gonna be sick.  
  
____________________  
  
After she had a taco with Hermione, she went up to Dumbledore's office to ask about the vampire tongue. She said the password, and walked up the staircase to the door. She knocked on her door to find Dumbledore chatting with the paintings on the wall.  
  
"Um . . .Professor Dumbledore? I was wondering . . . how do we get the vampire's tongue?"  
  
"Ah. I have been waiting for you to ask me this. You see, I cannot leave the school to go with you."  
  
"Go . . . with me?"  
  
"Yes. You will be travelling to Transylvania, and staying in a wizarding hotel I have booked for you. I cannot leave the school, as I said, and so you must go alone."  
  
"But . . . So I have to hunt vampires?"  
  
"No, just the one."  
  
"But that's still a vampire! It'll suck my blood the second I try to go near its mouth! It's just asking for it, sticking my hand in there!"  
  
"Don't worry, Summer. There is all the information in this parchment, like how to kill vampires."  
  
"So I can kill it, then take its tongue?"  
  
"I'm afraid not, it has to be alive when you cut it off."  
  
"Ewwwww! I'll just cut it off with the spare razor blade I carry around with me then shall I?"  
  
"No, of course not. Here is a magical athemae. (I don't know how to spell it) You can cut it off with this."  
  
Summer looked at the athemae. She couldn't think of anything else that might save her from an early death of being bitten by multiple vampires. She said multiple because once the other vampires knew a Mary Sue was killing their friend, they would come to his rescue.  
  
"I'm not doing it. You'll never make me! I'm too young to die . . .," she said, somewhat getting confused and having to sit down.  
  
"Summer, remember the burritos."  
  
____________________  
  
Two days later, Summer was on a plane heading to Germany. She was getting more and more pissed off, as the people on the plane kept speaking in German, and she hated talking in German. She could speak German, as she could speak English, German, Italian, French, Japanese, Chinese, Indonesian, and had mastered the 200 different languages of all the Aboriginal tribes of Australia. No, it wasn't that she couldn't understand it, it was that she didn't think she sounded nice in German. It was a good thing she had a window seat, or she would have been bored out of her brain. What's worse, she was sitting next to a girl who thought she was all that and a bag of fat-free potato chips, baked not fried. She kept on going on about how great she looked now she was on a diet. It was really pissing Summer off, even more than the German-speaking air hostesses, even more than the plastic aeroplane food. (A/N: when I was on an aeroplane, I got a brownie! It tasted like helium! It was fun!)  
  
"Yeah, and before that, I was on this diet which I was only allowed to eat cabbage, and that really sucked, and so now I'm on this great diet where I can only eat rice-cakes. It's so cool. I've lost so much. Don't I look amazing? Hey, what diet are you on? The Atkins diet? I heard that's really good, but I don't know what it-"  
  
Summer, losing her temper, lashed out. "Here's an idea, why don't you shutup? I'm not even on a diet, because I can eat what I want and I DON'T GET FAT. Get over yourself girl, I'm better that you!" (T/A/N: who's the one who should get over themselves?)  
  
The rest of the journey was somewhat silent. Summer was so glad to get off the plane and away from the crazy-chick that she twirled around smiling in the middle of the arrival lounge. There was a person waiting for her that she didn't expect to see: Lupin. She looked at her feet, as the last time they had been in the same room, she had ripped two of his teeth out. He walked over to her, smiling.  
  
"Hello, Summer. Professor Dumbledore has asked me to chauffeur you out of here," He said. "Don't worry about my mouth, it's only my wolf form that has missing fangs." Summer brightened and she allowed Lupin to help her carry her suitcases to the waiting taxi.  
  
"Didn't it hurt?" She asked him when they were halfway there.  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"That teeth thing. It must have hurt."  
  
"Yes, but if Voldemort was at large, he could do much worse to me. You made the right decision. Dumbledore told me about him being your father and all." Lupin said, slightly gravely.  
  
"Yeah . . ." Was all she could say, feeling guilt. *If I hadn't jumped in front of my father, then he would be dead. I wouldn't have had to rip out Lupin's teeth. I am awful. *  
  
They got to the hotel (The Sparky Wand) and Lupin helped Summer carry her suitcases up to her room. He got in, put the suitcase next to the bed, and got ready to apparate.  
  
"Aren't you staying?" Summer asked.  
  
"No, I can't, sorry. Professor Dumbledore needs my assistance." He said, apparating out.  
  
"Bummer. Now I'm all alone in a foreign city. Just what I need." She said to herself, totally browned off. (T/A/N: I LOVE THE PHRASE BROWNED OFF!) "But on the upside . . . look at my room!" She squealed, jumping on her king sized four poster bed, complete with deep crimson hangings and bedspread. She ran around, checking everything out. In the kitchen, she found a bar-fridge, and looked inside. It was heaven for her. Completely decked out in . . . you guessed it, burritos! She grabbed one and put it in the microwave.  
  
"Oh . . . so long since I had a burrito . . ." She murmured to herself, taking the burrito out of the microwave. She set it down on the proverbial table, and went to look at the other rooms. In the bathroom, she found a three-speed spa-bath. There was nothing else worth commenting on, except for the many toiletries, sewing kits, shoe polish, and shower caps in little boxes in the bathroom. She ran back to the kitchen, and started eating the burrito, while checking what channels the TV had. *Oh, cool! It has Austar! * (For all you peeps who aren't Australian, Austar is 'cable' TV.) She settled on the comedy channel and nearly choked on her burrito in surprise when Drew Carey was actually funny. She finished her burrito and got out her athemae (protected from customs by a little charm of Dumbledore's which made it undetectable by x-rays and metal detectors, and was invisible to everyone but her) and sighed, as she had to get to work straight away.  
  
"We're going on a vamp hunt, we're going on a vamp hunt, we're going to catch some vamps . . ." She quietly sang to herself, feeling like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (T/A/N: Do you believe what Sarah Michelle Gellar said about the final Buffy season? she said . . . 'I want the show to end while it's still popular. I don't want it to turn into one of those shows that get axed because no one watches it'. If you wanted that, sweetie, you should have ended it about three years ago!)  
  
She walked into the forest behind the hotel. *As good a place as any to start . . .* she thought, walking in, but she was stopped by a yell from behind her.  
  
"Frauline! (I don't know if that's German or not) Frauline! You cannot go in there! There is . . . " the man hushed his voice " . . . there is VAMPIRES in there, Frauline!"  
  
"Perfect!" Summer said, and she ran into the forest, shouting for the vampires. The man looked on in confused fear. "Vampire! Vampire! Is there a vampire here who wants a drink? It's on the house . . ." she shouted, hoping she would only attract one. She didn't attract any, though, so she knew she needed a lure. She tore off her bandages from her arm, and ran her nails across the wound, trying to make it bleed again. The pain was so much that she almost passed out, but she fought hard, and kept awake. No sooner had the first drop of blood hit the ground that a vampire popped up before her eyes. He reminded her of a boy at her old school, before FairyWings. She had used to go to Zeelia's Academy for Young Witches and Wizards, and there was a boy there that had taken the whole magic thing a bit too far. He had grown his hair long, dyed it black, and worn black and red eye makeup, with white powder on his face. He freaked out most people, including Summer, so they inclined to avoid him. He avoided them as well, never smiling or connecting with the students at Zeelia's. This vampire, with its pale face and black shadows around his eyes, looked just like him.  
  
The vampire lunged at Summer, who instinctively ducked, reflecting back to her year's reflex training with her trainer, Ping-Pong. As she ducked, she threw him over her so he went crashing to the ground behind her. She straightened up and spun around. He was a good fighter, but she was better. He aimed a kick at her, which got her in the stomach, causing her to double over, winded. She straightened quickly though, and aimed a kick back at him, which hit him in the face, knocking him over. She knelt down and held his mouth open, while she took out the athemae. Unfortunately, a drop of blood from her arm fell into his mouth. He pushed his head up with such force that if Summer hadn't worked on her reflexes for a year with her trainer, Ping-Pong, (T/A/N: Heheh) she was sure that he would have bitten her hand off. *Remember the burrito Summer! Do not try to block everything! Do not block the weak attacks, as they are distraction for the strong attack that is soon to come! Remember the burrito . . . the burrito . . . the burrito . . . burrito . . . burrito . . . burrito . . .rito . . . ito . . .to . . . o . . .* As Ping-Pong's words played out in her head, she took guidance in them. She didn't block a small punch aimed at her ribs, but kept watch for the stronger attack. It came, with such force that if Summer hadn't worked on her reflexes for a year with her trainer, Ping-Pong, she would have died.  
  
They fought, and finally, the vampire managed to get Summer onto the ground. He bared his fangs, and Summer was forcibly reminded of Lupin. *This is just like that* she thought. *Only Dumbledore isn't here, and this vampire isn't shackled to the ground! * She was holding him off with both hands on his chest, while he used all his strength to try and get at her.  
  
Even though Summer was extremely strong for her size, the vampire was stronger. Summer could feel him winning and so she metamorphed herself into a Goth girl. She had long straight black hair, and she changed her skin pale as death. She changed her eyes dark purple, and she changed her lips so dark red they were almost black. She changed her clothes so she was wearing all black, and hoped to god this would throw him off balance long enough for her to get up and get back to the hotel room. She felt the pressure lift from her hands as the vampire got up off her and looked at her with a strange expression on his face.  
  
"It is a strange human that comes into the forest, changing her form and asking to be drunk of." The vampire said to her, still with that expression that Summer just couldn't place. Then, suddenly, it hit her. FLASH. Draco standing behind her, asking to help her with her bags. FLASH. Draco trying to ask her to the Halloween ball. FLASH. Harry staring at the girl dressed as a cat at the Halloween ball. FLASH. Did the vampire truly have a thing for her?  
  
"So you did hear me yelling out!" She said. "Why didn't you come then?"  
  
"My cousin stopped me. He was suspicious. He said it may be a trap."  
  
The bottom dropped out of Summer's stomach. *There are more of them? And this one has a suspicious friend? Oh shit. I'm no match for the both of them. *  
  
"Well, I didn't think it was a trap. That's why I came out here."  
  
"Why aren't you attacking me still?" She asked, trying to find out if the vampire actually DID have a thing for her. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you haven't got much conversation other than the other vampires around here, so you want to have a chat with a human. I don't think you'd get much talk out of a person who knows you're going to drink their blood, they'd only scream, I guess." Summer said thoughtfully. (T/A/N: this is the closest Sue comes to being philosophical.)  
  
"Well, that is the case with humans who only scream. But I get enough talk around here. You are talking to me as an equal, not inferior like other human-kinds. Aren't you afraid of me?"  
  
"Not really, no. No offence, but fighting-wise, you're really no match for me." She said, shrugging her shoulders. The vampire bared his teeth and she winced.  
  
"So you ARE scared of me?" He said, noticing her expression. "Only when you're flashing those fangs." She said truthfully. When he had his mouth shut, she was no more scared of him than she was of Marcus, that Goth boy at Zeelia's. But when he was showing those teeth, well, that was a different story.  
  
"So . . . what do you guys do for fun around here?"  
  
"Nothing much, you know, the usual, sucking blood, flying around, spooking people half to death . . ." Summer laughed. Her laugh made a creature behind a tree rustle slightly. The vampire and her sharply turned their heads to the sound, and saw an older vampire coming out from behind the tree.  
  
"Well, well, Xaeropedo. I see you are making friends with a human-type. Remember what happened to the last vampire that didn't kill his victim straight away? He got stabbed with a stake. He got turned to dust, man, dust!" the older vampire said.  
  
The vampire called Xaeropedo blinked and moved in front of Summer, protecting her from the other vampire. The other vampire scowled and rushed at Xaeropedo, who pushed Summer out of the line of fire and kicked the older vampire to the ground.  
  
"Don't try to hurt her, Cerylatid. She fights well and so do I. You cannot win if you fight the both of us." Xaeropedo said, standing over Cerylatid. Cerylatid flopped his head against the ground while Xaeropedo searched the ground for something. He seemed to have found it, but as he straightened up, Summer could see a short, thick stake in his hand.  
  
"No!" Summer yelled. "If you really want to protect me, let me cut his tongue out. I need it for a potion to kill Voldemort."  
  
Summer knew right then that this was the wrong thing to say, as vampires were in league with Voldemort. Xaeropedo's eyes flashed, and he turned and stalked out of the clearing where they had stood a moment before, making small talk.  
  
"Now, I need something of yours." She said, advancing upon Cerylatid. As she put the knife into his mouth, he shot up, she coiled back, and the knife flew out of her hand. Cerylatid rolled her over, and was trying to bite her. She held him off with both hands as she did with Xaeropedo, but Cerylatid was much stronger than he was. Despite her vain attempts to hold him off, he was getting closer and closer to her. Right when he was about to sink his fangs into her neck, she felt the pressure on her hands completely release as a look of surprise came over the vampire's face, and he totally evaporated, leaving a huge pile of dust all over Summer. She shook herself off and twirled around, ready to face another vampire. What she saw was Xaeropedo, standing over the place she was just lying with a shocked look on his face and a bloodstained stake in the other. She let out a sigh of relief and ran over to him, throwing her arms around his neck. He looked vaguely surprised, but didn't say anything until she let him go, a few seconds after.  
  
"What was that for?"  
  
"Thanking you for saving my life then with Cerylatid!" Summer said, happily.  
  
"But . . . I thought you'd hate me for killing him when you needed his tongue." He said.  
  
"Are you kidding? I'd rather try for a tongue tomorrow than get my head ripped off today."  
  
Xaeropedo calmed noticeably and spoke up. "When you came into the forest today and you saw me, you were going to cut out my tongue?" He asked. Summer bit her lip.  
  
"Well, yes, at first, but . . ."  
  
"And to think I protected you from Cerylatid! I should have let you die!" He said angrily. He flew at her, and she ducked again. A hungry vampire was one thing, but an angry one she could not handle on her own. As she was pinned to the ground, she tried to think of any possible excuse.  
  
"But . . ." She started. "But when you came in here, you were going to kill me too, so aren't we even?" She said, trying a feeble attempt at a smile, which, under the circumstances, looked rather more like a deranged grin. He got up and kissed her briefly on the cheek, before flying into the trees, yelling: "We will meet again, Summer Woods!"  
  
Summer walked back to her hotel room, wondering how Xaeropedo knew her name. As he had said that they were to meet again, she decided to ask him then. She walked down to the street outside the Sparky Wand, and started walking in any direction her feet took her.  
  
____________________  
  
(T/A/N: whoa . . . trippy! Review! Stay tuned for the next gripping episode!) 


	9. SORRY! I'm so sorry, but it has to be do...

Here is my new chapperiffic chapdiddly-dooh-dah chapter!  
  
Honourable (and not-so-honourable) mentions:  
  
lana-la-banana: you don't get it. I don't think Mary-Sue's are stupid. I LOVE THEM. Bring them on. I just love making fun of them too.  
  
Valentia: Well, at least SOMEONE likes it!  
  
Insulted deeply: Shutup. Just shutup, because I have three words for you, as well as some more to come. I'VE CHANGED IT. I have changed what I wrote, and I don't bloody well need my review-reading time wasted by people just telling me what someone else has. It is NOT a diary of mine, as my name is not Chloe, I do not write serious Mary-Sue's, and I HAVE CHANGED WHAT I WROTE! I can't change the past, but I have CHANGED WHAT I WROTE. Good for you if you have friends or siblings that have disorders or a different sexual preference. Wow. Want a medal? I HAVE CHANGED IT! Sorry to those people that actually review telling me things different to what someone else has. I'm sorry for this outburst. But that was just the last straw. I HAVE CHANGED IT. What the hell can I do about it now I've changed it? Tell me what I can do, and I'll do it. Just don't come crying to me about something that I'VE CHANGED. Bloody hell. Sorry. Bloody fricking hell. Again, Sorry for the outburst. Sorry. Sorry. BUT NOT SORRY TO INSULTED DEEPLY, BECAUSE I HAVE CHANGED THE WORDS! Sorry. Oh, and another thing? My story is *and I quote * 'not interesting at all'? Well, if you read it, but just ignored the bits that I HAVE CHANGED, then you'll find it is quite interesting. Well, that's what my reviewers tell me, and if you see the majority of the reviews, then you would know that my story is, in truth, rather interesting. Sorry. I think I just lost about half my reviewers disgusted by my outburst at Insulted Deeply. Don't stop reviewing, though! I'm sorry! But not to Insulted Deeply.  
  
LJ Fan: well, sort of. You got it a bit right. But still, he got a vampire for her, and that is what matters most.  
  
Aberforthlover: you like it, truly ruly? Oh, stop, you'll make me blush!  
  
Dave the L's gal: Yeah, I think my subconscious stole that line. But I didn't mean to!  
  
____________________  
  
When Summer got back to her hotel room, she noticed that Fawkes, Dumbledore's phoenix, had come to her room and dropped a letter and parcel on her bed, before going back up to the wardrobe to wait for her return. She walked over to it and wondered aloud why it had waited, and Fawkes, seeming to understand, flew down to the letter and pecked at it, showing that it wanted Summer to read it. She picked up the letter and started to read.  
  
Dear Summer,  
  
I am writing to ask you how you are going, whether you have gotten the tongue or not. I have enclosed a potion of which I hope you will find useful, it is a potion to make the drinker more agreeable. I do not know how this will work for vampires and the like, but I have made it reasonably strong by human standards. You must merely splash this potion onto a vampire's skin for it to take action. Be alert, prepared and ready for anything, as, like I said, I do not know how this will work on a vampire. Have fun!  
  
Hoping to see you in the near future,  
  
Dumbledore.  
  
Summer opened the parcel and found a small bottle of deep blue liquid inside. She wrote back a short note saying that she had had no luck so far, but was still looking. She was just about to tie it to Fawkes's leg, when she had a brainwave.  
  
"Fawkes, can you wait for me to come back, I have to go to the shop for a second . . ."  
  
And she ran out of the hotel, down the street, and to the nearest store. It was a magical supplies shop, but as it was the only shop she knew of in these parts, it would have to do. She scoured the many shelves and racks until she found what she were looking for.  
  
"Excuse me?" She said (in German) to the shop assistant, a pale faced girl with many piercings on her face, chewing gum, "Do these tortillas do anything . . . magical?" She asked. (This is in German, I would write it in German, but I don't know German, and I don't think you do either. Excuse me if you do.)  
  
"Nup, they just house ya gen'ral fillin's for a ordinar' burrito. Now, 'ere we have some other ones, 'ere's some that dance, 'ere's some that fill 'emselves, and 'ere's the ones that eat 'emselves. Perfec' for dieters."  
  
"Right. Now, how much is a pack of these ordinary ones?" Summer asked clearly, trying to force some civilisation into this girl.  
  
"Ten sickles."  
  
"Right, then I'll have forty packets."  
  
The salesgirl looked kind of shocked but went into the back room for extra tortillas. She came back out and laid them on the counter. Summer paid (I'm too lazy to work out the actual total, if anyone would like to work it out, tell me in a review and I'll change it and put you [yes, you] into the story somehow. Soz if that's not much of an incentive . . . I know I wouldn't do all that maths work just to be in a Mary-Sue!) and started to walk back, swinging her bag happily. At least by sending the tortillas to Dumbledore, SOME people could eat them. Before she got back to the hotel, she heard someone urgently hiss her name.  
  
"Summer! Summer! Over here!" It was Xaeropedo, standing in an alleyway. He was beckoning her over, and she ran over to him.  
  
"What is it, X?"  
  
"Please, call me Xaero. I have no taste for initials." He said, rather sternly.  
  
"Whatever, what is it?" She asked.  
  
"I have something for you . . ." And he led her over to a door in the end of the alley, and opened it. There was a vampire, strapped down to the table in there. "You needed a part of vampire, you said, and I . . ." He started, but Summer jumped up and down, squealing with excitement, before hugging Xaero, still jumping. He was rather disgruntled by this, but didn't show it.  
  
"I didn't need that agreeing potion thing after all . . ." She murmured as she took out her athemae and walked over to the table. The vampire on the table scowled, hissed and screeched, but Summer didn't care, nor was she frightened. Xaero walked over and put a pair of pliers into the vampire's mouth, the same kind as Dumbledore used on Lupin. Summer closed her eyes, remembering that horrible night, and stretched out the vampire's tongue. She put the athemae right at the back of his throat and cut it off. The vampire screamed so loud it shook the walls, but before anyone could run down to see what all the commotion was about, Xaero had grabbed a stake and plunged it into the vampire's chest. Summer's hands were covered in blood and she wrapped the tongue in white cloth before putting it into her bag. She washed her hands at a tap over in the corner, and then walked back over to Xaero.  
  
"Thank you so much . . . how can I ever repay you?" She said breathlessly.  
  
"Well . . . now I have destroyed two of my own kind, the others will never let me back in the forest . . ." He said, taking her hand. "So, I am asking you now, as a friend, to let me return to Britain with you."  
  
Summer was shocked. If this vampire liked her, as she suspected, she didn't want him finding out about her and Harry, or he might kill them both. But she couldn't turn him down, not now he had helped her so much.  
  
"Can I write to Dumbledore first? See if it's ok with him?" Summer asked. "Because, he's headmaster of the school I go to, and I guess it's up to him whether you come with or not . . ." She trailed off, walking toward the exit. Can I meet you here when I get a reply owl? Say . . . tomorrow at six?"  
  
Xaero nodded and she left the room, carrying the bag of tortillas with regret at ever meeting him. *It would have been so much easier, if I had met another, weaker vampire, and just got his tongue. I wish Cerylatid had stopped Xaero coming to me. But what can I do about it now? * She thought, walking up the wooden stairs to her hotel room. She crumpled up the letter she had first written, and started to write another one.  
  
Dear Professor Dumbledore,  
  
It's been smashing here. It's really sunny, but I haven't had time to check out much. I found a vampire in the forest behind the Sparky Wand, his name's Xaero, but I didn't get his tongue. Then another vampire came and tried to bite me, but Xaero saved me. Then, only a few minutes ago, he got a vampire for me so I could cut out its tongue. Now, since his friends won't let him back in the forest, he wants to go back to Hogwarts with me. He could live in the forest or something, aren't there other vampire's in there? Anyway, it's all up to you, reply quickly, because I said I'd tell him your answer at six tomorrow.  
  
Later, Summer.  
  
P.S. I have enclosed forty packets of burrito tortillas, with fifty tortillas each. You do the math.  
  
She re-read it twice before tying it to Fawkes's leg, along with a big package of two thousand tortillas. She then lay down for a restless sleep, dreaming of vampires eating burittos.  
  
____________________  
  
Yes, it's short. I wanted to post something. Shoot me. Even better, review. 


	10. Get over him in 28 days? HEAVENLY! NOT!

Ha. Hahahahaha. I'm just in a really hypo mood right now, so here is the next chapter.  
  
Oh, and to everyone that thinks Mary-Sues suck: I DON'T GIVE A FLYING BANANA COVERED IN HORSE DOODOO'S WITH A HALFPENCE ON THE SIDE WITH EXTRA FRIES AND MAYONNAISE WHAT YOU THINK!  
  
The article mentioned in this chapter is from the February 2004 issue of Dolly, page 60. I have just summarised basically what it says.  
  
Ahem. On with the show!  
  
____________________  
  
Summer woke up from her strange dream to find Fawkes waiting patiently by her bedside.  
  
"Hey Fawkes. Have you got my reply?" Summer asked. Fawkes trilled and nodded towards a letter on her bedside table. She picked it up and red what Dumbledore had to say.  
  
Dear Summer,  
  
I think that this vampire to add to our forest is a splendid idea, as very few vampires are willing to help out magical peoples, so we could find out much about their species from this Xaeropedo. Thank you for the tortillas, everyone in school loved them. I have booked you a flight that leaves today at 2pm, so you'd better get packing. I'll see you when you return, with the vampire tongue! Hurrah!  
  
From Dumbledore.  
  
(T/A/N: Hurrah? What the hell is that about?)  
  
Summer looked at her watch. She had overslept and it was 12.30pm already. She grabbed a quick burrito from the fridge and started throwing things haphazardly into her pink glittery suitcase.  
  
"Oh no, I said I'd meet with Xaero at 6pm, I'm gonna be gone by then . . ." She said as she raced out of the hotel. "Xaero?" She called out. There was no answer. "Oh bugger . . ." She turned around and Xaeropedo was standing there, looking suspicious.  
  
"Why have you come early?" He asked.  
  
"Because the plane leaves at two!" She said quickly. "We've got to hurry, Dumbledore says you can come with me!" She said happily. Xaeropedo was just looking happy in an evil sort of way.  
  
"No, my little ray of sunshine. (T/A/N: AAAAARGH!) You will not be going anywhere soon." He said, with the same evil smile on his face.  
  
"But . . . why not?"  
  
"Because, I am going to turn you into a vampire. Then I will put the vampire's curse on you, which will never let you leave this forest . . . you will spend your days here, searching for someone to bite. Try to leave and you will be struck down by lightning. This is your fate I have chosen for you. I have not tasted magical blood in so, so long," He said, looking at her neck. Summer panicked.  
  
"SHIT!" She screamed.  
  
"Potty mouth you have!" Xaeropedo scolded.  
  
"Sorry!" She said, before punching him in the face and running for her life. She ran up to her hotel room and finished packing, before going over to her room's fireplace, throwing some of her floo powder onto the fire, and shouting "Remus Lupin! Come here!"  
  
Lupin stepped out of the fireplace in a swirl of ash and smoke, brushing himself off calmly.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I need you to take me back to the airport, now!" She said urgently.  
  
"What's the rush?"  
  
"I'm being . . . erm . . . chased by a vampire . . ." She said.  
  
"Let's go then!" he said, rushing her out of the hotel and into the street. They swiftly walked down the street and called for a taxi. Summer looked around and saw Xaero stepping into the hotel she had just come out of. She jumped into the taxi so fast she bashed her head on the top of the car. She sat down in the back; Lupin got into the front seat, and told the driver to go to the airport.  
  
"Oh my god, I am so glad we're here. He can't have followed me all the way here." Summer said, putting her bags onto the baggage conveyor belt thingummyjig.  
  
"We've still got 45 minutes, what do you want to do?" He asked.  
  
"I want to go to that newsagent, I'm in need of a good Cosmo mag, I haven't read one in ages . . ." She said, leaving Lupin to his own devices. (T/A/N: notice how Mary-Sue, coming from a magical background, is always hip and with it with all the muggle magazines and TV shows? Like, I read this one where this chick had bewitched her TV and video and dvd players and all that electric shit to work at Hogwarts, and she and Hermione stayed up late every night watching her Lizzie Maguire tapes. OH MY GOD.)  
  
When she got there, however, there were no Cosmo's; just crappy twelve-year- old girl magazines like Dolly and Girlfriend. She bought the Dolly one and went off to read it. She laughed at all the stupid things in there, such as a 28 day 'get over him' guide. Lupin found her at the departure lounge and asked what she was reading.  
  
"This is so stupid, like, what guy is so much that you need a whole month just to get over him?"  
  
"What does it say?" He asked.  
  
"Okay. This is basically what is says.  
  
Day one. Cry.  
  
Day two. Get your mum's advice.  
  
Day three. Write a teary diary entry.  
  
Day four. He doesn't want you back. Get over it.  
  
Day five. Eat. That's really awesome advice to the obese kids of today!  
  
Day six. Exercise.  
  
Day seven. Spend all day on the couch watching videos.  
  
Day eight. Don't call him.  
  
Day nine. Call your friends. That's what I'd do on day one! This is so dumb!  
  
Day ten. Pamper yourself.  
  
Day eleven. Talk about it with chicks that have also been recently dumped. That'll just make all of you feel worse!  
  
Day twelve. Meet him on neutral territory, look hot, and say something that will make him wonder why he let you go.  
  
Day thirteen. Cry.  
  
Day fourteen. It's fully over now, so cry again.  
  
Day fifteen. Exercise.  
  
Day sixteen. Forget about anything that reminds you of him.  
  
Day seventeen. Focus on stuff other than him.  
  
Day eighteen. Have a girl's night out. As if the little eleven-year-olds that read this are even allowed out past eight anyways!  
  
Day nineteen. It wasn't your fault.  
  
Day twenty. Bitch about him to your friends.  
  
Day twenty-one. Run into him somewhere and don't cry.  
  
Day twenty-two. List things you like about yourself.  
  
Day twenty-three. Do something nice for someone else.  
  
Day twenty-four. Stop stalking him.  
  
Day twenty-five. Be independent.  
  
Day twenty-six. Wear clothes he never liked on you and pull your hair back if he liked it down.  
  
Day twenty-seven. Delete his mobile number from your phone.  
  
Day twenty-eight. Get another guy. Well, it took long enough!" She said. Lupin was sitting there, his jaw open.  
  
"Is that a joke article?"  
  
"Nope, they think it'll help."  
  
"The girls of Australia are all doomed."  
  
They started laughing. Summer hadn't laughed like this since her father had almost been killed by that energy-shooting curse Dumbledore had shot. She remembered this day and stopped laughing. She looked at her watched and realised it was time to get on the plane.  
  
"I'll meet you at London airport, Summer. Have a nice flight!" Lupin said before disapparating. Summer handed her ticket to the airhostess, Krista, who looked like she would be more suited standing on a street corner in fishnets and a glittery micro mini asking guys if they wanted a good time. She stepped onto the plane, being greeted by a hippy airhostess with burgundy dreadlocks pulled back into a ponytail, with piercings all over her face. Summer looked at her nametag and saw the name Butterfly. *Butterfly . . . hippy kid, hippy parents . . . * Summer thought, smiling to herself. She was seated at the window seat on row F, and was more than pleased not to be sitting next to a girl who thought she was all that and a bag of fat free burrito tortillas. Actually, sitting next to her was a boy of about her age, with spiky blonde hair, who as wearing a green jumper so bright it made the white aeroplane walls around him glow green, and Summer was almost blinded by it. She smiled at him and said hi, before getting back to laughing at her magazine.  
  
"You don't look young enough to still be reading Dolly, my little sister reads that." The boy said, with an American accent. (T/A/N: Finally! A Marty-Stu!)  
  
Summer laughed. "There was no Cosmo and so I thought this might be worth a laugh."  
  
"Yeah, I saw my sister's mag once, and I was practically wetting myself. Do you believe that it said that a guy and a girl going out to the movies, if your hands accidentally brush each other reaching for the popcorn, that was a hot topic of gossip with your girlfriends?"  
  
They both started laughing. "Jebus, if that's a hot topic of conversation then the last time I went to the movies with a guy would be enough to start a nuclear war!" She said, and the guy started laughing again. "I'm Summer, by the way."  
  
"Ricky. I'm from America. Why were you in Germany?"  
  
"Oh . . . I need the local culture for a school assignment or something. We have to pick a country and then go there to research it. It's so boring, I did absolutely no homework." Summer lied, since she thought if she told him the real reason, he might book her a room in the local mental institute.  
  
"Yeah, I'm in this transfer thing. My plane ran out of fuel and we landed in Germany so I had to take another flight to London. And, would you believe I have to take a train from Kings cross? I've never been on a train before. Have you?"  
  
"Oh . . . yeah, a few times." Summer said. "What platform are you leaving from?"  
  
"Well, you wouldn't believe me, but I'll try anways." He said, beckoning Summer closer. She leant forward, and he whispered in her ear, "Nine and Three Quarters."  
  
Summer backed off, a look of realisation on her face. "Me too" She said softly. Ricky smiled. "I'm not crazy then. In America we just have normal numbers, but I guess in Britain they have the fractions and everything."  
  
"Yeah . . . that's right . . ." Summer said, not really listening. Just her luck to be sat next to another wizard. "Excuse me, I'm going to the bathroom . . ." She said. She went into the bathroom and locked the door, and turned around to find Xaeropedo standing there.  
  
"What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" He asked evilly.  
  
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Yeah, It's shorter than my other ones, but I haven't updated in ages because of Christmas and all. PLEASE review. I'll give you a burrito. 


	11. muchly lovey dovey and smoochies!

Thanks to all my reviewers, you are all my one true loves, well, second to my one true love, but as the computer I'm writing from is bung, I can't read your reviews to mention you! But, I will say thank you to LJ Fan. You rock. You review muchly. Oh, and I didn't say this in my last few chappies, but to everyone that reviews my stories, Have A Muchly Good Chrisso And A Muchly Good New Year, lots of luv and kisses, from me.  
  
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Previously, on Diaries of a Mary-Sue Author:  
  
Summer went on an aeroplane and Xaero went weird and tried to bite her. Yes, I'm sure we're all very sorry he didn't, but as you will find out, the plot will THICKEN CONSIDERABLY, like CORNFLOUR AND WATER. You know, how you bash it but it's hard and you go slowly into it and its all smooshy? That's what the plot will be like. I bet you can't wait. Oh and I ripped off the slayer idea from some other chick/dude, so don't sue me or anything like that. Hey, do you know that I had absolutely no Canon characters last chappie? Letters from good old Dumbles don't count. And this chapter is about lovey-doveys between MarySue and Canon!Harry.  
  
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Summer tried to kick Xaeropedo but he caught hold of her foot and pulled her over. He knelt down toward her and whispered in her ear: "You had to go and leave me, didn't you? Why did you leave me? After all that I have done." He said, with a hand at Summer's throat. She choked for air and just stared insolently back at him.  
  
"I said you could come with me."  
  
Xaero snarled. "Why would I want to go to your horrible little school of horrible little termites when all I had to do was drink your blood and you would be with me always and forever?"  
  
"But . . . I thought your friends wouldn't let you back in the forest . . ."  
  
"They don't know about the other vampires." He said. "I'm going to drink your blood, then get the pilot to take us back to Transylvania. We will live in that forest, and we will be God damnit HAPPY!" He yelled ferociously. Suddenly there was a banging sound coming from the door, and there stood Ricky, holding a wand toward Xaero. He looked down at Summer; her long kinky blonde hair twisted on the ground like tendrils of a vine, and pointed his wand back at Xaero.  
  
"Hurt Summer, and I will torture you until you die, vampire." He said fiercely. Xaeropedo simply bared his fangs defiantly and moved his head down, so Ricky whipped a stake out from his back pocket and slammed it into Xaero, who cocked his head sarcastically at Summer and turned to dust before her eyes. She stood up and brushed herself off, before turning to Ricky.  
  
"Thanks, Ricky. I'm guessing you didn't just have that stake in your pocket in case you wanted to pitch a tent?"  
  
"No, Summer. I'm a slayer. And you're a witch. I can tell these things." He said solemnly. He saw Summer's expression and said to her "I'll tell you about it back in our seats." They walked back to their seats, getting a few winks from old people who saw Summer's wonky top and tousled hair and probably heard the banging in the toilets as well.  
  
"I think they thought we'd been getting busy" Summer said to Ricky when they were back in their seats.  
  
"Yeah, I was wondering why an old guy gave me the thumbs up!" He said, causing Summer to laugh. "No, seriously now. Last summer, on my holidays, I went for a visit to Los Angeles. (T/A/N: if anyone knows where Buffy really lives can you review and tell me?) We stayed in my aunt and uncle's place while they were taking a holiday in Spain. Next door there lived this really hot blonde called Buffy, and a few other people lived with her as well. One night, I heard a bit of a commotion coming from their yard, so I went over to check it out. I saw Buffy fighting a dude with a really mangled face, and the dude pushed her onto one of those sprinkler things with the sharp heads, you know those? It went right through her and she died instantly. Anyways, some dude who later identified himself to me as Xander said I had the slayer gift, and that he wanted me to kill the vampire. I did, surprisingly easily, and so, when I went back to school, everyone knew about it and the Headmaster sent me to some Hogwarts school."  
  
"That's where I go!" Summer said. "We'll be on the same train and everything!"  
  
"Well, I'm glad we met here, or we might have hated each other!" Ricky said, smiling. He was looking into her eyes like she had little kittens in them or something. *Oh, don't like me, I like Harry . . . * She thought desperately. He opened his mouth to say something, but then Butterfly the airhostess came along with their lunch. *Ugh . . . aeroplane food . . . * She thought.  
  
By the time the plane landed at London airport, Summer and Ricky were best friends. Summer got off the plane, smiling at Butterfly, whom she liked very much, and met Lupin at the Arrivals lounge. She hugged him and he led the way to their taxi, of which was driven by an Indian guy who smelled strongly of curry. Ricky shared their taxi, and the Indian taxi driver gave them the blessings of Buddha as they left the taxi. Lupin helped Summer and Ricky put their bags onto the train, before smiling and waving to their compartment from the platform, and disapparating before the train left the station.  
  
"Do you realise we're the only ones on this train except for the driver and the food lady?" Ricky said.  
  
"Oh my God! Weird!" Summer replied. Their conversation went on as such until they got to Hogwarts, of which they stopped talking long enough for Ricky to lean out of the open window to check out the school.  
  
"So you go here?"  
  
"Yepperoonies!"  
  
"Yepperoonies?"  
  
"It's my new word. It means yes."  
  
"Ok then . . ."  
  
As they got off the train, Hagrid was there to greet them.  
  
"Summer . . . and you mus' be Ricky Thomas. Th' names 'Agrid, Keeper of th' Keys at Hogwarts. Now, th' carriages aren't bein' used until nex' year, so I'll be takin' yeh on me boat. Hop on, there."  
  
So they took the silent boat trip to Hogwarts. Ricky trailed his hand along the surface of the water, until the giant squid's tentacle pushed it back into the boat. Ricky jerked his hand away and moved more to the centre of the boat, making Summer laugh.  
  
"It's just the giant squid, R. It's not going to hurt you."  
  
"This school has a giant squid?"  
  
"We have everything . . . grindylows, kappas, werewolves, vampires, giants, unicorns, anything you care to think of!" Summer said, to the amazement of Ricky.  
  
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"Thomas, Ricky!" McGonnagall said. Ricky stepped up to the podium and sat on the stool, putting the hat on his head. After about ten seconds, the hat shouted out "GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
Summer clapped as Ricky came to sit between her and Hermione, introducing himself to Hermione, Ron, Harry and Ginny.  
  
"Hi, I'm Ricky. What? Oh no, I'm just a transfer student from Zeelia's Academy."  
  
"That's where I used to go!" Summer said, shocked. Ricky screwed up his forehead and closed his eyes.  
  
"Oh yeah, I heard about you! You're the one that when you found out Alex was cheating on you, you got him back by poking . . ." He started, but Summer put her hand over his mouth quickly and tried to cover up what had been started.  
  
"No, that wasn't me, that was a different Summer Woods! There's another one!" She said desperately.  
  
"Yes, my best friend Matt told me about it and pointed you out to me in the hall, then you were expelled for blowing up a turret . . . You've changed your hair, but everyone at school knew you were a metamorphmagus and I can recognise your face now. I knew I'd seen you somewhere before!"  
  
"What did she do when Alex cheated on her?" Hermione asked happily. Summer sank down in her seat, knowing she couldn't silence Ricky.  
  
"Well, she was already enemies with the other girl, so she went up to his room when she thought no-one else was there, and she found some condoms in his bag, so she poked some holes in them with pins. But Matt was there, and he saw you, Summer! Anyways, that girl got pregnant, and she had a baby and called it Araminta."  
  
Summer was shocked to find that she had been seen. "What's the name of the other girl?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Oh, I think it was Phoenix or something . . ." (T/A/N: I love making up names! It's the funnest part of writing Mary-Sues!)  
  
"Right. Hey, what kinds of subjects do Zeelia's have?" Hermione asked, leaning her chin on her hands, and leaning her elbows on the table. She was completely ignoring the food, and focusing entirely on Ricky, who didn't seem to mind that much. In fact, he seemed to like Hermione more than Summer did, which was admittedly not very much, but it was still worth commenting on.  
  
Summer turned around to Harry and hugged him. "I missed you! I missed you heaps!"  
  
"Yeah, that, where did you go?"  
  
"Oh, I had to go to Transylvania . . ." And she told him about the potion.  
  
"But the Prophecy said that I was the only one that could kill . . ." and with that Summer clapped a hand over his mouth.  
  
"Harry! You're using logic! I am the sole person who can kill Voldemort!"  
  
"Right, sorry about that." he replied, looking ashamed of himself.  
  
Summer turned to face the proverbial 'camera'. "You didn't see that, kiddies!"  
  
The proverbial 'camera' whirls around to face the audience. The audience nods their heads in unison, their brains having melted long ago by Summer's inescapable Mary-Sueness.  
  
*Coughcough * that NEVER happened! Anyways, Summer was so happy at being back with her friends that she accidentally metamorphed her eyes from dark green to the brightest turquoise. They all turned their heads toward Dumbledore, who was indicating that he would like to speak.  
  
"Well, now that we are all fed and watered, and as our last Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher resigned but a few days ago, I have great pleasure in announcing that that post will be filled by Professor Sakhra." Dumbledore said, waving his hand at a teacher Summer hadn't noticed before. She looked at Professor Sakhra, gasped and turned to Ricky.  
  
"That's Butterfly!"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Butterfly! The airhostess on the plane!"  
  
"Really?" Ricky said. "I wasn't paying much attention to the airhostesses."  
  
"Well there she is!"  
  
"Ok then. Hey listen, Hermione's offered to help me catch up on some schoolwork tonight."  
  
Summer nodded her head. "Uhuh, what do you want me to do about it?"  
  
"I'm just wondering what she's like."  
  
"You mean if she's anything like me."  
  
"Well, sort of."  
  
"Yeah, well she's sort of the complete opposite of me, except for the fact we're both girls."  
  
"I see. Does she, you know, go out with people?"  
  
"I dunno, I don't think anyone's asked her out"  
  
Ricky smiled, before standing up and following Hermione out the door. Summer laughed softly and stood up to go back to the dormitory, but Harry caught her hand and pulled her to him. He kissed her, with Ron mouthing the words "Awh, yeah!" behind his back. They pulled apart and Harry turned red.  
  
"Oops, I . . . uh, didn't mean to do that . . ." He said, but Summer just smiled and said "Are you coming?" Before heading to the door of the Entrance Hall.  
  
She opened the dor and walked out, Harry following at a swift pace behind her until he caught up.  
  
"So, this Orlimae potion, how long have you been making it?"  
  
"Since a bit after Angel died . . ." Summer broke off, not wanting to remember the day her best friend had been murdered. Harry put his arm around her and veered her off into the grounds.  
  
"This isn't the way to the dormitories . . ." She said through tears.  
  
"I know, you seem too preoccupied for sleeping right now, I thought we could hang here, if, you know, you want to." Summer laughed at his shyness and took his hand, leading him to the lake.  
  
"Remember here?" She said, sitting down on the grass. "This is where we first met!"  
  
"Oh yeah, I remember! You were the most beautiful girl at any of the dances, if I do say so myself."  
  
Summer blushed. "And you were the hottest guy!" They sat there smiling, Summer resting her head on Harry's shoulder and Harry having his arm around Summer's waist. After about an hour of simply enjoying each other's company, Summer felt a raindrop on her head. She blinked and looked up. It was beginning to rain, and it was coming down in sheets. They stood up and ran back to the doors to the castle, but by the time they got there they were both soaked. They were laughing though and every step they took toward the Gryffindor Common Room felt and sounded like their shoes were full of porridge. They got to the common room and sat down in front of the fire, very cold and very wet.  
  
"You know, we'd dry better if these robes weren't on." Summer said, pulling hers over her head. Harry nodded in agreement and took his off as well To reveal baggy black jeans and a white shirt, completely drenched. Summer threw her robes aside and flipped her wet hair behind her shoulders. She was wearing a red tartan pleated skirt with black boots and a white tank top, with a khaki green tie as a belt. The rain had made her top completely see-through, revealing her pink bra. She took her singlet top off, to the amazement of Harry.  
  
"I don't think that little piece of material stopped you getting dry much."  
  
"But you could see my bra anyways, so what's the point of having it on?" She replied. That made perfect sense to Harry, so he kept his mouth shut and moved closer to the fire. Summer moved closer as well, mimicking their position back at the lake with her head on his shoulder and his arm around her waist. Summer's last view before she fell asleep was of her red skirt, icy cold against her skin.  
  
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The next day, they were going to Potions with the Slytherins when Draco stopped her and pointed to the noticeboard. There, blown up to half a metre square, was a photo of the two sleeping in the common room, Summer with only her bra and skirt on with her head on Harry's shoulder, and Harry with his shirt glued to his skin with rain, his head resting on Summer's. The caption read 'Hogwarts hottest new couple: Harry Potter and Summer Woods' The picture was, of course, moving, but the only movement in that picture was the slow rising and falling of the pair's chests as they breathed softly. Harry gaped at the photo while Summer put her hand over her eyes as if shielding them from the sun, put her head down and walked swiftly to the Potions room, snapping her fingers to knock Harry out of his stupor and beckoned him to follow her. Follow her he did, still with a stupid expression on his face.  
  
"Settle down . . ." Snape said to the class when he entered the room. "Now, today we will be making the Polyjuice Potion, so please divide into pairs and get started."  
  
Of course Harry and Summer worked together, and Hermione blushed and giggled when Ricky asked her to work with him, so Ron had no choice but to work with Neville, something he was most frightened of.  
  
"You will make your potion, extract one hair from your head, and put it in. Then your partner will drink the potion, and if done correctly, your partner should take on your appearance, that is to say, look like you." Snape said. Many people in the room got excited at this, and started straight away. Summer tipped the powdered horn of Bicorn into her potion and stirred it. Harry did the same next to her.  
  
By the end of the lesson, they had almost finished their potions, they just had to put the hair in. Summer tweaked a strand of blonde hair out of her head and dropped it into her cauldron. It turned a pale pink colour, and as Harry dropped a strand of his hair into his potion, it changed colour to dark blue. They poured the potion into plastic cups, swapped them, and prepared to drink.  
  
"Bottoms up" Summer said, before drinking Harry's potion. She winced as her hair changed colour and grew shorter, and her vision fogged up, as she needed glasses now. She pulled Harry's glasses off his nose and put them on. "Awh, that's better."  
  
She could see Harry clearly now, but he didn't look at all like Harry should. His hair was growing and changing colour to blonde, he blinked as his eyes got used to not needing glasses, and he jumped backward as if he had seen a spider when his chest grew.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAARGH!" He yelled. Snape rushed over to him swiftly.  
  
"What is it, Miss Woods?"  
  
"It's not Summer, it's Harry! The potion worked!"  
  
Snape looked at Harry, then at Summer, who raised her eyebrow.  
  
"Good work, Miss Woods." He said, before sweeping off to the front of the room. Summer laughed as they packed up their stuff for their next lesson, Defence against the Dark Arts.  
  
"I'm gonna metamorph myself back into me again, do you mind?" Summer asked.  
  
"Nah, knock yourself out."  
  
Summer screwed up her face and shook her head, bouncing her long blonde curls back into place. She gave Harry back his glasses, which he put in his pocket. They entered the classroom and sat down. Butterfly the airhostess/professor was sitting behind her desk, smiling at everyone. Hermione (who looked like Ricky) put her hand up.  
  
"Yes, err . . ."  
  
"Miss Granger, Professor. We just had Potions and we did the polyjuice potion and so now we all look like someone else . . ."  
  
"Right. Well then when I call your names out, please say 'present' to the person you look like. Ok?"  
  
Summer put her hand up. "Professor, I'm a metamorphmagus, so I changed myself back . . ."  
  
"Then answer for who you used to look like, I'm sure I'll figure it out in the end."  
  
She smiled at Summer, who turned to Harry to see what she looked like from someone else's point of view. *Not half bad . . . * She thought.  
  
"Harry Potter." Butterfly said. Summer put her hand up. "Ricky Thomas." Hermione put her hand up. "Ron Weasley." Neville put his hand up. "Summer Woods." Harry put his hand up.  
  
"We're going to have lots of fun this year!" Butterfly said, stretching her arms and throwing her head back, letting two bat-like black leathery wings expand from her back. Her purple dreadlocks morphed into kinky black hair, and she put her hands on her hips. "Now, does anyone know what I am?"  
  
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There ya go! Guess what Butterfly is? I don't know. Tell me what she could be. If you really love me, you'll visit this site. http:// quiz. ravenblack. net /blood. pl? biter=EllaBella except without the spaces ok? And I'll give you a packet of chocolate chip cookies. 


	12. here comes the showdown, is that love?

Argh! As we have that Internet connection thingy with Telstra that's like, 500 thingies of download a month, and I made it go over the limit thingy, I CAN'T GO ON THE INTERNET FOR ANOTHER 3 DAYS TO DO ^ANYTHING^. BLERK! So, I will be posting this later. Ok? Ok.  
  
LJ Fan, I luv u! (Dearly not queerly.) Send me an autographed picture! Tell me your name so I can write you into my fic! Send me your underwear! (Not really. That's scary.) (But really about writing you into the storie.)  
  
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The class gasped as Professor Sakhra (ie. Butterfly) stretched out her black leathery wings once more. "I said, does anyone know what I am?" She said. The whole class looked nonplussed, except for Hermione and Summer, who had their hands up. "Miss Granger?"  
  
"Um. I don't actually know, it's just a habit . . ." She replied, looking embarrassed. Butterfly shrugged her shoulders, and directed her stare over to Summer.  
  
"Yes, Miss Woods?"  
  
"Are you a succubus, Miss?"  
  
Butterfly smiled. "Why, yes, Miss Woods, ten points to Gryffindor!" She said, then addressing the class at large; "Summer Woods here is the only student I have ever taught that knows to recognise succubi when she is shown them." The class started murmuring to their neighbours. "Shutup" She said, as though she was asking someone to shut the window. They shutup. "Now, succubi are the creatures we will be studying first, as they are my area of . . . shall we say . . . expertise. Succubi are demons of the night, whom fly into men's houses in the cover of darkness and sleep with them. It is NOT THAT FUNNY, WEASLEY!" She shouted at Ron, making her wings stretch out to the walls and gouging holes in both of them.  
  
"Whatever . . ." He said, looking bemused.  
  
The rest of the lesson was spent reading from textbooks about Butterfly's species and such. (T/A/N: because I seriously do not know anything about succubuses. Succubi. Whatever.)  
  
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"Miss Woods, Professor Dumbledore wishes to see you in his office!"  
  
"Ok, Professor . . ." Summer said to McGonnagall, walking up to his office. 'Pepper Imps" She said, and the gargoyle jumped aside and let her in. She walked up the staircase and entered the office.  
  
"Hello, Summer!" Dumbledore said brightly. "Now, as you have said ingredients, I would like for you to start work on the proverbial Maker's Potion of said Orlimae Potions."  
  
"Ok then . . ." She said, and followed Dumbledore down to the dungeon, where Snape would be supervising her. When they got there, Snape was waiting, looking rather disgruntled.  
  
"With all due respect, Headmaster, I don't see why I have to be here. Miss Woods has shown potion-making skills better than I, so I should probably be just going now . . ." He made a gesture as if to leave, and turned around, keeping his eyes on Dumbledore, with a sort of 'pretty please?' expression on his face.  
  
Dumbledore simply smiled and said to him "I'm sure she will deeply benefit from your supervision, Severus."  
  
Snape rolled his eyes and conjured up a green velvet beanbag to sit on. He sat down, crossed his legs, and as Dumbledore left, stuck his finger up. Dumbledore turned around halfway up the stairs.  
  
"I saw that" He said, and stuck his finger right back up at Snape. Summer stifled her giggle and bent over the cauldron, pouring water blessed by merpeople into it. When it was a quarter full, she lit a fire under it and magicked up her own beanbag, a pink sparkly leather one. She sat on it and waited for the water to boil. She waited. She uncrossed her legs and crossed them the other way around. She smoothed a crease in her skirt. She tapped her nails on her knee, and in doing so, broke one.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" She shrieked. Snape stood up suddenly.  
  
"What the hell is it?" He asked.  
  
"I broke a nail!" She said, close to tears.  
  
"You're a metamorphmagus you crazy bitch!"  
  
"Oh yeah!" She said, changing her nails to all the same length (to make up for the broken one) and dark red. She stood up and realised the cauldron was boiling. She picked up the unicorn tail hairs and powdered unicorn horn, and dropped them in. "Roses!" She said sternly, and Snape chucked them over. She pulled out the petals out, ripped them in half, and dropped them into the cauldron. "Ladybird wings!" She said, and Snape chucked a zip- lock bag over to her. She counted out ten sets and sprinkled them into the cauldron. "What now?"  
  
"The potion says leave for a week, a day, and an hour."  
  
"Righto then. whell that wasn't too hard!" She said, smiling. She raced up the stairs to her dorm, leaving Snape to stash the potion somewhere.  
  
"OUCH!"  
  
Summer fell onto the ground at the top of a moving staircase, and cursed her clumsiness. She looked to see whom she had smashed into, and it was Ron.  
  
"Sorry Ron, I . . . my mind was a million miles away . . ." she said, standing up. The bottom of her robes caught on her black Versace boots, and she slipped, only just managing to catch the edge of the staircase.  
  
"Summer!" He shouted, running over to her. "Give me your hand!" He said to her. She let go one hand, and grabbed Ron's with it. He pulled her up, slowly and agonisingly. She closed her eyes to stop herself looking downwards at the hundred-foot drop (T/A/N: let's just pretend Hogwarts has a large body of water below its staircases, huh?) and Ron, sensing her discomfort, said, "I won't let you fall." She finally got to the top and she lay on the cement staircase, breathing very fast and heavy. (T/A/N: can you tell I just watched Titanic?)  
  
"Thank . . . you . . ." she said, between terrified breaths. She stood up, took off her boots, and stepped to the other edge of the staircase, where Ron stood. She leant over the railings with her arm outstretched, and dropped the shoes over the edge.  
  
"Shit!" He said, watching the shoes drop down to the water, bobbing for a second then sinking slowly. "In muggle money, they've gotta be worth hundreds!"  
  
"They're designer, Versace to be exact, and I bought them for two thousand pounds."  
  
"Shit! And you're throwing them away? Why would you do that?"  
  
"Well, every time I look at them, I'm gonna remember just then won't I?" She said. "Best to get them out of the way. That was some scary shit."  
  
Ron agreed. "But I can't see how anyone can AFFORD to throw away two thousand pound shoes . . ." He said grimly.  
  
"My adoptive parents own an extremely successful hotel chain worth over 400 million American dollars." She said, looking down at her ruined boots. "Have you heard of it? It's the Woods Empire."  
  
"400 million dollars? Bugger me . . ." Ron said. "Yeah, I think Hermione stayed there once. So you're going to inherit 400 million, plus whatever else comes?"  
  
"Yeah, even though they're not my real parents, my proverbial mum can't have children, so I'm as good as they're gonna get." She said, suddenly forlorn. "I'm gonna be stuck with $400 million that I won't know what the hell to do with . . ."  
  
"Whatever. Walk you back to the common room?"  
  
"Yeah, I was going there anyways . . ."  
  
____________________  
  
A week, a day, and an hour later, Summer was back in the dungeons with Snape bitchin' on his beanbag, tossing Summer ingredients when she asked for them.  
  
"FINISHED! Jesus Mary and oh-God-don't-tell-me-Josephs-gonna-get-involved I'VE FINISHED!" She shouted, doing a victory dance around the cauldron.  
  
"No Summer, you've forgotten the Victim's Potion!" Snape said annoyingly.  
  
"Do you know how much I wanted to slap you just then?" Summer said. Snape raised his hands in defeat and sunk back into his beanbag. But Summer did the other potion surprisingly quickly, wincing as she added the werewolf's teeth and vampire tongue, remembering how she had to get them. She did the little FINISHED speech and dance again, jumping on her beanbag and shakin' that booty like there was no tomorrow. She finally settled down and stood on the opposite side of the cauldron to Snape, asking for the knife she was supposed to use. Snape pulled a silver case out of his pocket, and opened it, pulling out a knife the shape of Summer's hair when she had put it in plaits overnight. In short, it was kind of wavy and kinky, but still cool as all-get-out. He held it by the handle and spin-threw it at Summer's head. She caught it between her thumb and forefinger, right before it would have hit her between the eyes. She lowered it, and pulled a golden strand of hair out from her head. She dropped it, and aimed the knife. The strand dropped onto the knife and got cut in half lengthways. Summer raised her eyebrows in awe.  
  
"That's one sharp knife." She said, as she dipped it into the second potion, while drinking the first potion she had made. It tasted of over- ripe bananas, but Summer could handle almost anything life threw at her.  
  
"Right, now we're going to go to wherever The Dark Lord is now." Snape said, suddenly business-like. But they were interrupted by a sound coming from their right. They turned, and saw Ron, Hermione and Harry running through a tapestry.  
  
"Portus." Snape said, pointing his wand at a quill he had taken out of his pocket. "You three will have to go with us, there's no time to explain, the potion will wear off the knife soon."  
  
"Alright, everyone touch a piece of the quill!" Summer said, resting her index finger on the end of it. Harry, Ron and Hermione did the same. Suddenly, they were pulled to a strange, brightly-lit room, and the quill dropped to the floor as they looked around. Summer gasped as she saw that the rooms walls were lined with lethal-looking three foot steel spikes.  
  
"I was wondering when you'd come back to see me, Summer . . ." Voldemort said, then suddenly seeing the rest of her entourage, "but I didn't know you kept such . . . unlikely . . . company . . ."  
  
"Daddy, you killed my best friend, murdered my other best friend's parents, and you stole the school's tortillas. What do you have to say for yourself?"  
  
"I have on excuse for what I did in the past. It was kill or be killed." He started.  
  
"Then you should have been killed! Have some honour, Daddy!" She said angrily.  
  
"And I killed your friend because she's a friggin' crazy bitch."  
  
"So? She was my best friend!"  
  
"And I was in dire need of tortillas. I can't keep my Death Eaters happy without the magic healing powers of burritos."  
  
"So you settle for making your only daughter, your only reminder of Tara, suffer, just for your stupid docile Death Eaters?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Summer. I did what I had to do."  
  
"Well DO THIS!" She shouted, rushing at him. He whipped a hand at her, making her fly through the air in the other direction, but not before she plunged the knife into his stomach.  
  
"Ouch . . ." he said weakly, before falling down to the ground and smouldering slightly. Snape walked over to him and took hold of his wrist.  
  
"He's dead." He said.  
  
Summer slammed into the wall opposite where Voldemort had stood, expecting to be rammed by a spike. She winced, then opened her eyes to find a spike protruding right next to her head. This was so funny; she started laughing, and signalling she was ok. Then she realised she was suspended halfway up a wall.  
  
"Uh, Summer, look down . . ." Harry said. Summer looked down, and saw a long, three-foot spike, covered in blood, coming out from her stomach.  
  
"Oh no . . ." She said, as she slid off the spike (Ew, mental image!) and fell to the floor, lying diagonally on a staircase. Ron and Hermione were too shocked to do anything, but Harry ran over to her.  
  
"Harry . . . is Daddy dead?"  
  
"Yeah, he's dead." He said, trying to hold back tears.  
  
"We won, Harry, we won!" She said, blood slowly trickling out of her mouth as she spoke, and she coughed pitifully.  
  
"Sssh, don't talk. There'll be plenty of time for that when you're better."  
  
"I don't lie to my friends, Harry, and I don't want you to either." She said, with drooping eyelids. "I'm dying, and please don't tell me I'm not. I can see the hole in me as well as you can."  
  
In the last few seconds of Summer's life, Harry looked into her eyes, and saw the most terrible sadness he had ever seen. And . . . was he just imagining it, but, before her eyes closed forever, did he see, just a hint of . . . love?  
  
____________________  
  
Oh, BOO FRIGGIN HOO. Mary-Sue is dead. Wow. I bet you brought out the tissues in that chappie. Not. Review! If you review, I might bring out a sequel. Or I might not. So it really doesn't matter if you do or not. But I'd like you to. But I'm not saying I'll shoot you if you don't. Jebus, I'm making myself confused again. Have a great Australia Day, and if you're not Australian, YOU SHOULD BE. 


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